What to do with a pile of wonton wrappers when one has had prawntons too many times recently.
Hmm...
Ooh!
I know.
Perogies sort of!
The great thing about wonton wrappers, one of the great things, is that you can put whatever the hell you want inside them and cook them pretty much however you like.
I have a bunch of potatoes lying around, so I figure I ought to find somewhere to stick 'em.
A good guideline for making a filling, be it for perogies, wontons, ravioli, or whatever, is to make something where the shape and portion size is easily manipulated.
For a lot of fillings, I'll make a puree; since I'm using potato, the choice to mash seems pretty fucking obvious.
I'm using 5 medium sized Yukon gold potatoes for this recipe. There are all kinds of potatoes, with all sorts of different flavour and starch profiles, but I find the Yukon gold to be the best all-round potato - it mashes nicely, roasts great, and even works for fries.
When it comes to mashed potatoes I prefer more of a smashed potato. Time was when every mash I'd find at a restaurant would be nice, white, strained, fucking baby food purees, but that's not for me, and you don't see it as much in restaurants any more either.
I like to have some texture to my food. I have teeth and I like fucking using 'em. When I'm crapping my pants in a wheelchair in some state-funded nursing home complaining about the weather and every fucking other thing, then and only then do I want fucking potatoes I can chew with my tongue (and I'll still bitch about it).
At this point you may be realizing that the key to the recipe is good mash. Hell, the key to a lot of meals is good fucking mash. My childhood was full of shitty, gluey garbage mashed potatoes that were either put on the table to show off the good serving dish or as some cruel culinary joke.
You all know these potatoes. Someone in your family makes them and is prouder than shit of their sticky pile of crap.
Boiling potatoes smashing 'em up and then grabbing the skim milk and margarine from the fridge to "cream" 'em does not mashed potatoes make.
Shit.
It's shit.
You just made shit.
I make shit after I eat my potatoes, not as I'm making them.
I don't eat my shit. You shouldn't eat shit.
Great mashed potatoes are simple, and I offer you the number one key to fluffy and delicious potatoes:
hot liquid.
Yes, that's right, hot liquid is all it takes. No matter what your liquid of choice, be it cream, meat stock, or my usual choice of veg stock, make sure that you've got it warming on a back burner (or the fucking front if you like) for when you want to do your smashin'.
You can boil or steam your taters; whichever you prefer.
Steaming is faster.
Either way you want to avoid overcooking them; but, you've got a pretty decent margin for error when it comes to potatoes. I like to take them off the heat when they are just soft enough to fall off the fork. This way they still have some toothiness to them, but feel free to cook them a bit longer if you like a smoother mash.
There's lots of ways to make mash from this point. Some chefs like to reserve some of the potato water to add to the mash - I don't know why; there's plenty of better things to add.
I use homemade vegetable stock. It doesn't add the richness of the traditional cream and butter approach, but the flavour is great, and it cuts the calories in half. Adding flavour with fat is great, don't get me wrong, but it very often isn't necessary and I try to avoid it.
Also, we're making perogyoza; there'll be opportunity a-plenty to add calories with the sauce should you so desire.
If you're a mammal muncher you can substitute cow stock; the gelatinous taste and texture of torture appeals to some. Bird stock works too.
Anyhow, off the soapbox and back to the stovetop.
Add the liquid to your smashed potatoes in small amounts; you don't want to add too much liquid or you'll end up making potato soup - while delicious, it is pretty difficult to work with as a filling.
Stop adding liquid when the potatoes reach a consistency you recognize as mashed. Don't know that consistency?
Really?
Well, try out this recipe. If it doesn't work due to potato mush running everywhere, use less liquid next time. If it doesn't work due to flaky, dry tasting potatoes, use more liquid.
If it works, well, it fucking worked, didn't it.
Generally speaking, if you can spoon off a chunk that will hold its shape long enough to be wrapped, you did alright.
This is the point where your potatoes are going to move from simple mash to superhappyfuntimes stuffing for your wonton thingies.
Here's what I add to my 5 medium potato mash:
(all measurements are approximate and should not be followed too closely - use your tongue and your judgment)
2 tbsp garlic scape (chives make a reasonable substitution - sort of)
1/4 preserved lemon, minced
1/2 red onion, finely diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
Salt & Pepper to taste
Cheese, about 100g, shredded - I used a rather disappointing jalapeno havarti. If there had been cheddar in my fridge, I would have used that. Cream cheese would be awesome too!
Throw the whole wack in a bowl, potatoes included and mix.
There you have it. You've made wonton/perogy filling.
Easy, right?
Right.
Now for sticking it where it belongs.
Buy some wonton wrappers. Or, make them; making them is a huge hassle where the reward doesn't really justify the effort.
Just buy them. It's easy, and they won't be fucked up like the ones you tried to make.
You're gonna need an egg. The egg is gonna be your glue.
You actually only need the yolk, so go ask your grocer for some eggs that are just yolks.
Bring a video camera to record her stupefied expression.
So, separate one egg yolk from the rest of the egg.
How?
Well, you can glop the yolk back and forth between the two shell halves until you're left with merely yolk, or, my preferred method, you can just crack the egg into your hand and let the egg white run off through your fingers. Do it over a bowl if you want to conserve the white, over the sink if ya don't.
Smash the yolk in a little dish.
Get your filling and wrappers ready.
Now, there are a shittonne of ways you can stuff a wonton wrapper. I'm using square wrappers, so rectangles or triangles are the best options.
Let's do rectangles. Or, we can make Xtreme Wrecktangles.
Right.
Rectangles, then. Like this:
If you've got kids, this part can make for some good family bonding. I love stuffing wrappers, and kids like to help.
Throw a bit around. Get it in your hair. It'll be fun.
Make someone else clean it up and keep rollin'.
Slap a small spoonful of your filling right smack in the middle of your wrapper thusly:
Huhcha!
Now fold that shit over so it looks like this:
Nice package.
It's pretty important at this stage to make sure that your package is sealed. The corners where you folded it over are the most likely spot for leaks.
Why is this important?
Well, if you're going to throw these little fuckers in hot water, and you just might, any gaps in the seal allow water in and filling out.
These are both things you don't want.
If you're going to bake or pan fry the cocksuckers then sealing isn't such a big deal; water won't get in to wreck your shit, but you might lose some filling. Getting in the habit of making good seals doesn't hurt.
So there you go - little fucking perogyoza.
As you may have gathered, you can pretty much cook them however the fuck you want. Here's the options I can think of presently:
Bake - put them all on an oiled sheet pan and brush them with oil. Cook in a hot oven (375F) until nicely browned - 15-20 minutes.
Fry - frying pan medium high with vegetable oil. Cook each side until browned - about 2 minutes per side. This is the fast but boring way.
Boil - throw them in boiling water and take them out when they float. You can eat them just like that, but I won't.
The PEROGYOZA way - boil, as above, and set aside. You may want to pat them down with a kitchen towel to remove some of the water. You're about to put them in hot oil. Water and hot oil makes for a very exciting mix. So pat them dry.
Now heat veg oil in a pan on medium heat. Throw in your perogyoza and cook ON ONE SIDE ONLY. Yup, one side only. This is the part that makes 'em like gyoza, and makes them fun to eat.
What you're left with is a little pocket of awesomeness that is sticky and soft on one side and crispy on the other.
Perfect.
As for saucing the little bastards, you can use whatever you like that you think would go with potatoes.
Use fucking gravy if you like.
Tomato sauce would be nice.
Cream sauce maybe?
Seriously, use whatever you like.
Here's what I did this time:
I threw some onions in a medium-low pan with a bit of olive oil and S&P to caramelize. As they browned I tossed in some tofu and red pepper. This is while I'm waiting for the water to boil.
I dumped the works on top of the finished perogyoza and finished it with a balsamic syrup.
What's balsamic syrup? Stay tuned to future blogs - it'll come up. I love that shit.
Anyhow, it turned out like this:
Yum.
Your turn.
Make it.
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