Holy Guacamole!

I realize it’s not really guacamole season yet, but it will be soon enough so I’ve started early to make sure I eat enough.

Homemade guacamole is really the only way to eat guac. Anything store bought just isn’t going to have the freshness the really makes guacamole so fucking awesome. Mind you, that is really the case with any processed foodstuffs.

Fresh is best.

Join me in flipping double birds to processed food!

For guac you’re obviously going to need some avocados. I find that an avocado per person usually works out pretty well.
This recipe is for four people.

Some may be intimidated making guacamole due to unfamiliarity with prepping avocado. It is, however, really quite simple.
Take your knife and line it up lengthwise with your avocado using the stem as your starting point. Cut into the avo until you hit the pit. Turn your knife, cutting around the pit 360 degrees. Twist your avo and pull apart. You are now left with two halves, one with a pit and one without. To remove the pit, simply swing your knife blade lightly into the pit and twist; it’ll pop right out.

Now, take your knife and cut into the flesh, still in the skin, being careful not to pierce the skin and thereby your hand. Cut strips lengthwise, about ½ cm apart and then the same crosswise. Use a large spoon to scoop out the shell and empty the flesh into a mixing bowl.

You can use a food processor to blend your avo, but I prefer my guac to be bit chunky. I like texture. You can also use a potato masher to mush your avo, but if you’ve selected ripe avocado, it’s simply unnecessary (ripe avo, hass avo at least, has dark skin and is slightly soft).

To prevent browning, it’s best to add your citrus next – I’ve never had an issue with my guac browning, but apparently it can be an issue. Squeeze the juice of one or two limes over your avocado; one lime mostly just preserves the colour, two adds actual lime flavour to your guac.

Time for the spices.

This is where our guac is gonna be a little bit different than usual – well, one step where it’ll be different.

Grate about half a nutmeg pit into the bowl, add a pinch of saffron, more if you’re using machine-harvested American saffron than if you’re using the nice, hand-harvested stuff. What’s the difference?
Well, being machine harvested, the American stuff comprises both stamen and stigma of the crocus flower as well as some petals. The hand-harvested stuff, the good stuff, is just the nice, deep orange stigma, and that, my friends, is where the money’s at.

Add a bit of salt.
Give your guac a stir.

Time for some aromatics.
Add roughly one quarter of a medium onion – I use red – minced to the mix. Mince two cloves of garlic and toss that shit in too. Take either a jalapeno pepper or a Serrano pepper and chop it finely to add to the mix. If you like a bit more heat, use the spicier Serrano.

Time for some cilantro action; I use about ¼ cup chopped.

And, almost finally toss in about ¼ cup of sweet corn.

Yup.

Corn.

The sweetness of the corn nicely balances the spice of your hot pepper. How do you know if it’s sweet corn? Well, in Canada and the US it’s just what is commonly called corn. There are a shitload of other varieties of corn in the world, but the shit you find in our supermarkets is undeniably the sweet variety. If it’s not, it’ll say so, but it is, so don’t worry.

Stir that shit up; add salt and fresh ground pepper to taste. Put it in a nice serving dish with some chips fer dippin'.
Be proud of yourself.

Eat it.