tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40455570728746731202024-03-05T04:19:35.250-08:00Epicure What Ails YouTasty Eats That Don't Have FeetsThe Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-69250584879105496592011-05-09T03:18:00.001-07:002011-05-09T03:18:45.057-07:00Gravlax!What the fuck is gravlax, you ask?<br />
I think the word translates literally, from some Scandinavian language, to something like grave salmon, or zombie salmon - or something. I don't really know.<br />
What I do know is that it is fucking great!<br />
I like it a lot and it's a lot like lox. <br />
"Lox," "lax," you see the similarity. The similarity is more than orthographic.<br />
Gravlax is salmon with the moisture sucked right out of it with salt.<br />
Yup, that's right, good ol' salted fish. Lox is also salted fish, the primary difference being that lox is cold smoked after it is salted - gravlax is not. Nope, it gets it's peculiar name from it's history of being buried in the dirt to ferment.<br />
We're gonna skip that last step.<br />
<br />
This is a dish that would have traditionally been made in the fall, after the salmon run. But, we are no longer restrained by seasonal necessity and can make this shit whenever the fuck we want. That being said, I do prefer to eat seasonally - not because I have to, rather because I find that the food which is in season seems to fit my culinary mood most times (although I do admit to forcing myself to be in seasonal moods on occasion).<br />
<br />
What do you need to make it?<br />
You need a slab o' salmon and a bunch of salt is what you need, and various random bits to fuck around with the flavour.<br />
Now, if you don't want to fuck with the flavour of salmon, which is a grand flavour, for sure, then don't fuck with it; take the salting directions and leave out the other business.<br />
I added some other shit:<br />
<br />
About 60 grams of fresh dill, roughly chopped<br />
1organic lemon, zest and juice<br />
1 red beetroot, shredded - you can use golden or chioggia beet if you like, but the real point of the beet in this recipe is to add some fun colour to the fish, and the golden would add no real colour, and the colour from chioggia beets doesn't bleed out like it does with the red.<br />
<br />
There is one piece of specialty cookware that you'll need for this recipe:<br />
<br />
a big fucking brick.<br />
<br />
Alternately, a few regular bricks, or some other object(s) equivalent in weight. You'll see why soon enough.<br />
<br />
Take your salmon fillet and place it on a sheet pan.<br />
Salt the hell out of that fucker. I mean it.<br />
Cover that thing in salt. Use nice, coarse sea salt too; don't use that iodized shit - unless you want your fish to suck.<br />
Do you want your fish to suck?<br />
I didn't think so.<br />
<br />
Pat that salt onto the fish and add your other shit as well, patting it all on to the fish nicely - beets and all.<br />
Yeah, your hands are going to stain from the beets.<br />
So fucking what.<br />
You can wear gloves if you like, but I prefer to wear my beet stains like battle scars. I like to bond with my food. Food isn't something to fear, ya nancies.<br />
<br />
Wrap that fish in cling film and get that brick.<br />
<br />
You'll want to wrap your brick in something, for hygiene's sake.<br />
Slap that brick on top of your seasoned, wrapped fish. You'll want to ensure that your fish is weighted as evenly as possible, although perfect distribution is not at all necessary. This will serve as our equivalent to burying the fish in the ground, without our having to worry about some other bastard digging it up and eating it.<br />
Toss that shit in the fridge and leave it there for at least a day - best to leave it for 2.<br />
<br />
2 days later...<br />
<br />
Pull that shit out (that's what she said).<br />
You'll notice that there's significantly more liquid in your sheet pan than when you put your fish in the fridge.<br />
That's good. That means shit worked the way we planned it.<br />
Yippee.<br />
<br />
You'll also notice that all of the stuff you patted onto your fish now sort of looks like crap.<br />
Scrape it off.<br />
Wipe it with a kitchen towel if need be - you really don't need any of that shit kickin' around. All the flavour you need from your seasoning has already been taken up by the fish.<br />
No toppings necessary.<br />
<br />
Some knife skills are going to come in handy at this point, and, quite importantly, a good sharp knife.<br />
Slice your gravlax just as you would slice lox.<br />
Better yet, slice it just as Morimoto would slice lox. I could offer tips on how to slice lox here, but you're better off downloading some videos of Morimoto working his magic and practising on your own. My knife skills are okay; his are amazing.<br />
Practising your knife skills is really the only way to get better with the blade. Those chefs you see on TV slicing paper thin daikon and perfect sashimi at lightning speeds don't have some magical, innate talent, what they have are shitloads of prep hours under their belts, dozens of scars on their hands, and real <iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0756631238&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>restaurant experience.<br />
Practice.<br />
<br />
Gravlax looks like lox, it's sliced like lox, and it's every bit as versatile as lox. It works in salads, sandwiches, wraps, on its own - however you please. It matches well with cream cheese, red onion, and caper - which is how I had it last.<br />
Just make sure to slice it thin - it does make a difference.<br />
<br />
Fishy dishy yum!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgkWrx31RsZuyszfojbXko5K6RHxpBj2oWxGAzfoq2QEkzioSe0jfVLyzAb6c_qY5g7LVl_41Y6zvukPRpYENTST4XmxKaZmnNOtpLyg6dqpI1WhFIXEeMYK7AKnmRvkABZr-Ixf2jIPTL/s1600/76982_10150089651335406_503820405_7736130_7723775_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgkWrx31RsZuyszfojbXko5K6RHxpBj2oWxGAzfoq2QEkzioSe0jfVLyzAb6c_qY5g7LVl_41Y6zvukPRpYENTST4XmxKaZmnNOtpLyg6dqpI1WhFIXEeMYK7AKnmRvkABZr-Ixf2jIPTL/s320/76982_10150089651335406_503820405_7736130_7723775_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-30194696251052665152011-05-07T21:52:00.000-07:002011-05-09T01:27:37.891-07:00Maple Almond Candy (vegan)<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I don't make sweets very often. It's not really my thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">So when I do, I tend to go for the more simple delights.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">A </span><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">pâtissier I ain’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">This recipe is the easiest fucking thing in the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You will, however, need one specialized piece of equipment, viz. a candy thermometer. Can you make candy without a thermometer?<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000095RBW&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><br />
Maybe, but I wouldn’t bet on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Another specialized piece of equipment that would come in handy is a Silpat, or other silicone sheet. Silpats are pretty handy for making sticky business; they are super heat resistant and sticky shit doesn’t stick to ‘em. If you don’t have one, and don’t feel like dishing out the cash, parchment paper is an okay substitute – a Silpat is way better though.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00008T960&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You’re also gonna need some maple syrup; a whole bottle in fact – 500ml. And, you’ll need ½ cup of chopped, toasted almonds. You’ll also need 1/8<sup> </sup>teaspoon of baking soda and you’re set.<br />
<br />
Yup, that’s it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Oh, and patience. You have to pay attention to this shit or it can get away from you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Pour your syrup into a large, heavy-bottomed pot – preferably a tall-sided one. This shit bubbles up something fierce, and you do not want hot syrup going everywhere – that would </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 21px;">really suck.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Bring the syrup to a boil on medium high heat and pay attention to that thermometer of yours. Do not stir.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG6cDqoOLaAx7PBJqHgdXgWzUMRV1XqVjeDaGdMQg_5YyFQf7tCs3jmlKVgR6ebromYC4auKgKLBez_mJ7cneVocxNsiDLjMVjQv5d_GlBk074GpDQ3ufXqXQcXPtcF-9dhfVSqQHc8wHZ/s1600/IMG_6048.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG6cDqoOLaAx7PBJqHgdXgWzUMRV1XqVjeDaGdMQg_5YyFQf7tCs3jmlKVgR6ebromYC4auKgKLBez_mJ7cneVocxNsiDLjMVjQv5d_GlBk074GpDQ3ufXqXQcXPtcF-9dhfVSqQHc8wHZ/s320/IMG_6048.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"><br />
When the thermometer hits 235F carefully remove your bubbling pot of awesome from the heat and let it cool. Do not stir.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsi7rELzQJzjY4vOtK9n1TEfLwbGXWYufLWa3OSwFEKIpVxRn_-FSAtro3-SbOR70UhjwoGIpYeHwjZoILwE1URY68yEj8baBjIfHCUti0ppn6vEvpZfXbkRm99PMd2xnzW46xIJ-XHC8S/s1600/IMG_6029.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsi7rELzQJzjY4vOtK9n1TEfLwbGXWYufLWa3OSwFEKIpVxRn_-FSAtro3-SbOR70UhjwoGIpYeHwjZoILwE1URY68yEj8baBjIfHCUti0ppn6vEvpZfXbkRm99PMd2xnzW46xIJ-XHC8S/s320/IMG_6029.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"><br />
When it reaches 175F, after about 10 minutes or so, add the baking soda and stir when it turns to a more buttery looking, light brown stir in your almonds.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You’ll need to move a bit quickly at this point as it really starts to cool quite quickly. Pour the whole mess out onto your Silpat, which you should have secured within the confines of a baking sheet. Spread it out and let it cool. After it’s cool, stick it in the fridge to let it harden. Do not put it in the fridge hot - it fucks up the flavour. It won’t take long to cool in the fridge – maybe 10 minutes.<br />
<br />
You can bust it into chunks or slice it uniformly. Hell, you can leave it whole; I don’t give a fuck, it’s your candy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Eat it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzOLdOtePQvGYbRn4Yj-_kuby4bxkNbBFqoMt7NxEyvgQ6xn42qZf0qFEn2qioWXvHv1dLZfU9LqHs1gfIgWXuvZ7soSvovw-tN2KB6JVAgT3k2ZvMnA9csSR6XfeScRZbSIo1jy230XOY/s1600/IMG_6057.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="103" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzOLdOtePQvGYbRn4Yj-_kuby4bxkNbBFqoMt7NxEyvgQ6xn42qZf0qFEn2qioWXvHv1dLZfU9LqHs1gfIgWXuvZ7soSvovw-tN2KB6JVAgT3k2ZvMnA9csSR6XfeScRZbSIo1jy230XOY/s200/IMG_6057.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The one on the left is a result of overstirring,<br />
and not getting the mix out of the pot soon enough.<br />
It was still delicious, but the one above is how it looks<br />
when you get it out of the pot on time. <br />
A much slicker result.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAY8yH3IYMEacmAG0232LXyhEuAeRe9P5URMSMsMa1hN9VfOa1vRl9aXmYJ8DCvNqEJAcIDF6MtJyK9Ms6-iCefrKRdr-6_5L1onjrgBeX3yJ9ncLx40d2vy52KBjkqx8T5F6jRo2XSx0T/s1600/IMG_6031.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="106" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAY8yH3IYMEacmAG0232LXyhEuAeRe9P5URMSMsMa1hN9VfOa1vRl9aXmYJ8DCvNqEJAcIDF6MtJyK9Ms6-iCefrKRdr-6_5L1onjrgBeX3yJ9ncLx40d2vy52KBjkqx8T5F6jRo2XSx0T/s200/IMG_6031.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I added cocoa nibs to one half of this batch just to try it out.<br />
'Twas crunchy bitter yumminess.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-23368951356178123172011-05-05T22:56:00.000-07:002011-05-09T01:25:54.739-07:00Zucchini Noodles with Coconut Curry Cashew Cream (vegan)This will be a pretty short entry as it is merely a variant of the previous post. This is another raw vegan idea I had for the same zucchini noodles I made yesterday.<br />
The zucchini noodle recipe from <a href="http://www.epicurewhatailsyou.blogspot.com/2011/05/zucchini-noodles-with-pesto-vegan.html">that post</a> will work just as well here as it did <a href="http://www.epicurewhatailsyou.blogspot.com/2011/05/zucchini-noodles-with-pesto-vegan.html">there</a>.<br />
<br />
Here's what goes in it:<br />
1 can of coconut milk - I will, as always, recommend organic over conventional.<br />
1 tbsp fresh ground ginger - I keep mine in the freezer so it's easier to grate.<br />
2 cloves garlic, minced<br />
1 cup raw cashews<br />
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro<br />
A curious blend of spices<br />
<br />
I soaked my cashews in the coconut milk for a bit, but my research tells me this isn't necessary. I don't care, I think it made the sauce smoother - if I'm right, that's good, if not, it seems like a pretty harmless delusion.<br />
Throw all that shit into some sort of blending contraption with some sea salt and fresh cracked black pepper.<br />
I use an immersion blender for this application.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00008GSA4&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><br />
<br />
This may be a good time to inform you as to the contents of my curious blend:<br />
(as always, the measurements are approximations and likely inaccurate)<br />
1/4 tsp cayenne<br />
1/4 tsp asafoetida<br />
1/2 tsp mango powder<br />
1 tsp turmeric<br />
1 tsp ground cumin (I cheated on the whole rawness of the recipe here. Toasting cumin makes it so much more awesome than untoasted - it really does)<br />
1 tbsp fresh ground coriander<br />
A pinch each of fresh ground cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves - don't use pre-ground cinnamon as it tends to overwhelm - fresh merely whelms.<br />
<br />
That's pretty much it. Blend that shit and toss your zuke in it - you likely won't need all of it. Don't drown your zuke in the sauce; you want to be able to taste the zuke. I only used about 4 tablespoons or so.<br />
Finish it with the cilantro.<br />
<br />
Eat it.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1NAR5hfxpHh1YnnXKdruwk0pkNY-kq1kNwtgkcgJqkK2f1G9Nfi2Pspnzqznz1HJXwPKMokf6CX2OioaDxnCBKtfQzNPVMPtzqde_cQTaxl-Lo5whq3eJB2kmskRhuZmetpHFdVRgiosN/s1600/IMG_6027.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1NAR5hfxpHh1YnnXKdruwk0pkNY-kq1kNwtgkcgJqkK2f1G9Nfi2Pspnzqznz1HJXwPKMokf6CX2OioaDxnCBKtfQzNPVMPtzqde_cQTaxl-Lo5whq3eJB2kmskRhuZmetpHFdVRgiosN/s320/IMG_6027.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I also added some diced Ataulfo mango. It's a smaller, yellow, sweeter<br />
mango than the green and red ones most commonly seen in<br />
North American supermarkets.<br />
<br />
<br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div><iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=2080136410&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><br />
<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=2080305603&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-16917056469167483272011-05-05T00:52:00.000-07:002011-05-11T02:49:55.661-07:00Zucchini Bin Laden: Zucchini Noodles with Pesto (vegan)<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I have recently started a cleanse.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Weird, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Necessary.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">So, I'm off booze and I've switched from coffee to tea.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I suspect my posts won't be nearly as fun for a bit.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">For example, this dish is entirely raw and vegan!<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0974430692&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Woo-fucking-hoo, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Well, don't run screaming just yet. It may be raw and vegan but it is some tasty shit, I kid you not. Not all raw vegan food is crap. Think of berries; berries are delicious.<br />
I guess that doesn’t really count as a dish though, does it?<br />
Fuck.<br />
Well, bad example, but try this shit here and you may grow a new respect for those vegan weirdos.<br />
It is seriously good, and seriously easy to make<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Portioning for this recipe is super simple - merely pick one medium zucchini per person (also called 'courgette' by the French, British, and the Douche-ish), one tomato per person, one tablespoon of minced onion per person, and some lemon juice.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You'll also need pesto.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Here's what you'll need to make the closest approximation to pesto I can do without parmagiana reggiano (can you believe vegans don't eat cheese?!?):<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">2 tablespoons coriander seed<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">25-30 grams of fresh basil will make enough for four people. I always make at least enough for four people even if I'm only making enough food for one - finding other uses for already prepared pesto is not challenging.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">The juice of half a lemon - if you're using organic lemon, you may as well use the zest too - that's where the flavour's at. Don't use the zest if you're using conventionally grown lemons as the zest will be full of chemicals.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">2 cloves garlic, minced<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">1 tbsp raw almonds<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">2-3 tbsp cold-pressed extra virgin olive oil - this is a good time to break out that nice Tuscan bottle, the one that's certified extra virgin by the Italian government (I personally prefer the peppery Tuscan oil to other Italian oils and to Greek and Spanish oils. There's nothing wrong with these other oils, I just prefer the Tuscan).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Finally, some sea salt and fresh cracked black pepper to finish things off.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">To make your pesto you’re going to need a mortar and pestle setup. Don’t think so?<br />
Well, you’re wrong. Store bought pesto is stale and crappy, and machine-made pesto, while much better than the processed garbage, lacks the vivacity of the hand-pounded, über-fresh, elbow grease product. The friction produced by processors evaporates the oils from your garlic and basil – those oils ARE flavour.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00016QXYK&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Let’s make it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You’ll want to grind the coriander in the mortar first as it won’t grind up as well if you add the moist ingredients. After it’s nicely ground, add the rest of the ingredients.<br />
Pound the shit out of ‘em.<br />
You’ll be left with what looks like, well, pesto obviously.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcqEC6C9YCp38lEkRgbkvC7Z-nzO87lL0dyVXmQ3gvVdEkM_9vEFCa9r1DOAH663eZ-M8g17K2caaoMuJ1E4_zsWMhxGQ4pv9NjACbYbSNDdRX2ajNZE7eRUWQL0_R5FcwyLfqfja119BZ/s1600/IMG_6015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcqEC6C9YCp38lEkRgbkvC7Z-nzO87lL0dyVXmQ3gvVdEkM_9vEFCa9r1DOAH663eZ-M8g17K2caaoMuJ1E4_zsWMhxGQ4pv9NjACbYbSNDdRX2ajNZE7eRUWQL0_R5FcwyLfqfja119BZ/s320/IMG_6015.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"><br />
If it seems too pasty just add more oil or lemon juice, or both, according to your preference. If it seems to runny, well, you fucked up, but you’ll get ‘em next time, Slugger.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Now for the noodles.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">So what the fuck is going to make those zukes into noodles, eh?<br />
Nothing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">That’s right, nothing.<br />
I know, disappointing, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I don’t understand why raw foodists, and many vegetarians for that matter, have this peculiar desire to imitate foods that they refuse to eat. It seems pretty fucking stupid to me, and it merely provides fodder for the meatheads bent on discrediting the validity of their views. Don’t wanna eat meat? Then why the fuck shape and flavour your tofu like fucking chicken nuggets?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I just don't get it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"> End rant.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Let’s make some noodles!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Ideally, you’ll use a mandoline to slice your zukes – note the ‘e’ on the end; that’s how you know it’s a kitchen tool and not that goofy little guitar-like thingy. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">What the fuck is a mandoline, you ask?<o:p></o:p></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ3QS4TrPnt3r4xqX3bCJLYQoAGCF4HXNZs46mCMW6JzD5iSAOJ-8zSwTP8vM-8AUEitW782X-Xu-eZfvUNwIn9XSG806HkPD4lTFyv7w5HATv41p3fIOgqY5gNyFQ97LSni3pqmlp35XY/s1600/pinzon-mandoline-slicer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ3QS4TrPnt3r4xqX3bCJLYQoAGCF4HXNZs46mCMW6JzD5iSAOJ-8zSwTP8vM-8AUEitW782X-Xu-eZfvUNwIn9XSG806HkPD4lTFyv7w5HATv41p3fIOgqY5gNyFQ97LSni3pqmlp35XY/s1600/pinzon-mandoline-slicer.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a pretty fancy one - all shiny and junk.</td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">There, that the fuck is what it is. I had one when I was young that was called a Super Slicer. You’ll see them by lots of names in kitschy kitchen stores.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">If you have a mandoline, set it to slice between 1-2mm – a good noodle thickness. Do a couple of test slices to gauge the thickness and select it to your preference - keeping them pretty thin. Run your zukes through lengthwise. You’ll be left with lovely strips of uniform thickness. Stack ‘em up and slice ‘em lengthwise, noodle thick – whichever size noodle you prefer; I went with something between fettucine and linguine.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I don’t have a mandoline (I do, however, accept gifts graciously), so I just used my vegetable peeler. I don’t ever peel my vegetables so it’s nice to find a use for my poor, neglected peeler. It’s a whole lot clumsier than a mandoline, but it gets the job done – more slowly, and sloppier, but done. Just run the peeler from end to end, running off nice strips. I find it easier to go less than half way and then flip your squash. There’s also more waste with a peeler than with a mandoline.<br />
I really ought to stop about not having a mandoline and fucking get one.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">So you’ve got your strips of zuke. This next step is key. It really is the difference between an average plate of veg, and a pretty decent vegetable dish.<br />
Put the strips in a colander and salt ‘em.<br />
Salt ‘em good.<br />
For two zucchini, I use about 3 teaspoons of salt. Hand toss the strips to make sure they are all salted. Contrary to intuition, this does not lead to a salty dish. Remember, your zukes are in a colander – hopefully over somewhere you don’t mind water leaking out, like a sink or a bowl. The salt is going to draw a lot of the excess water out of the zukes – and there’s a shitload of water in zukes. Most of the salt will drain off with the water.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You’ll need to let the zuke sit for a bit to let the water draw out; I usually leave mine for about 30 minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">After they’ve drained, put them in a dry kitchen towel and squeeze out more water.<br />
The amount that drains out is crazy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Toss them in a bowl and add your pesto. Toss with minced onion and diced tomato and you’re all set.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">For an extra fun and tasty addition you can add some raw vegan ‘parm’, i.e. ground almond. Just grind a few almonds in your spice grinder and sprinkle over your noodles.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheU4EmD2OjJ51OQ01QEqK7uJmlfZUxK2b2MHgaRUbSRYnZuFJUbxw714pBGXsDEJvR21TssDR9PoukE1wTJEmNgnZknAGDevKkLBYS_N7tpGd1yNeXR7wrV8O72PgrF5XDmr24kuW2dSl1/s1600/IMG_6016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheU4EmD2OjJ51OQ01QEqK7uJmlfZUxK2b2MHgaRUbSRYnZuFJUbxw714pBGXsDEJvR21TssDR9PoukE1wTJEmNgnZknAGDevKkLBYS_N7tpGd1yNeXR7wrV8O72PgrF5XDmr24kuW2dSl1/s320/IMG_6016.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Eat it.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0954197410&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 21px;">I have also entered this recipe on another blog I discovered through VegPeople on facebook called House Favourites: Vegan. You can find it </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 21px;"><a href="http://chezcayenne.blogspot.com/">here.</a></span><br />
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</div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-82746615564747414522011-05-04T23:35:00.000-07:002011-05-05T21:04:43.031-07:00Soup du Jour: Tomato Coriander Ginger<div class="Publishwithline"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">So, the paneer has set in the fridge overnight, and is looking just darling - well, as darling as a moist lump of spiced curd can look, I suppose.</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nuf8EvnOFyOPCGIBw625MPiuG5D3R7c_uADtZw-N-fdt4UsJbIkm4wfPq6hp9HODMqgfDt9dcvkLUrZkIN-TI-Z4oAgJRzTqANIs0mEwVrU5xFYoaDVAh2womG3Gl9S8tJNbQtLUD-un/s1600/IMG_5542.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nuf8EvnOFyOPCGIBw625MPiuG5D3R7c_uADtZw-N-fdt4UsJbIkm4wfPq6hp9HODMqgfDt9dcvkLUrZkIN-TI-Z4oAgJRzTqANIs0mEwVrU5xFYoaDVAh2womG3Gl9S8tJNbQtLUD-un/s320/IMG_5542.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
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</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">As you can see, I've used the cheap-ass American saffron which looks more like flower petals than stigma or stamen. But, I assure you, it is a pretty damn good substitute for the budget conscious gourmand. Compare $15 for a pinch of the good stuff to $3 for an entire bag of the American. Unless your palate is pretty highly developed and sensitive, I wouldn't really bother with the fancy crap.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">What to do with it now. Well, you can slap off a chunk and chew it, or you can be a little more creative. I find that even with the spices paneer is pretty fucking boring on its own. Who the fuck just sits down and eats cheese anyhow? (Er, this guy, but that's beside the point)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I'm gonna fry mine up and dump soup on it. And not just any old soup, Vij's tomato, coriander, and ginger soup - or at least my bastardized version of it. I have Vij's Elegant & Inspired Indian Cuisine cookbook amongst my collection, but I do not follow the recipes very well.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I don't follow recipes very well at all - nor do I try. Adhering strictly to written guidelines, particularly in cuisine, destroys the creative process and fucks up the food. Recipes are just ideas.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Anyhow, back to Vij's soup. If you don't know who Vikram Vij is or what Vij's is you should find out. Vij's is generally considered to be the best Indian food outside of India. <a href="http://www.vij's.ca">the restaurant website</a></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">There, you found out.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You can buy the cook books here:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vijs-Elegant-Inspired-Indian-Cuisine/dp/1553651847?ie=UTF8&tag=epiwhaailyo0d-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Vij's: Elegant and Inspired Indian Cuisine</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1553651847" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vijs-Home-Warmth-Indian-Cooking/dp/1553655729?ie=UTF8&tag=epiwhaailyo0d-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Vij's at Home: Relax, Honey: The Warmth and Ease of Indian Cooking</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1553655729" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /><iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1553651847&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Here's my version of their delicious soup:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Heat up a large saucepan and throw in some veg oil - just enough to coat the bottom of the pan. Vij's recipe calls for something like 1/3 of a cup of veg oil, but I use much less - more like 4-5 tablespoons. The next step will seem like it's out of order to those unfamiliar with Indian cooking techniques, but I assure you I'm not bullshitting you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Add cumin to the oil making sure that the oil is hot. How do you know if it's hot enough? You'll know by lookin' with experience, but it's easy enough to just throw in a single cumin seed. If it doesn't sizzle, your shit ain't hot enough.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Yup, cumin goes in first. This is a very common Indian technique - it seems fucked up, but it works.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">In with the cumin goes your curry leaves. Only put them in at this point if you are working with fresh curry leaves as dried will simply burn and taste bitter as fuck and look like shit (trust me, I learned this lesson). As a side note, if anyone knows where the fuck I can find fresh curry leaves in Vancouver I'll gladly trade a beer for the knowledge (it'll even be a good beer if you actually bring me the leaves).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">A note on the use of curry leaves in this soup: Vij alternates curry leaves with coriander dependent upon the season - curry in the winter, coriander in the summer. I like to use both no matter the season. I like the way the flavours work together year 'round.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Ooh, another note: I use "coriander" interchangeably with "cilantro" when referring to the herb and use "coriander seed" when referring to the spice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">"Hey, jerkoff! Back to the cooking already!"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Right, sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now you're going to want to add your ginger, about two tablespoons should do it, but put in however much you like. You can substitute garlic for the ginger, or use both. It's up to you. I use both in equal quantities.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">A good rule of thumb for cooking garlic is actually a rule of nose. When you can smell it, it's done. Overcooked garlic is fucking gross.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">If you're using dried curry leaves, put 'em in when you smell the garlicorgingerorboth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Oh, you'll wanna have a big can of pureed tomatoes on hand. In the summer you can use fresh tomatoes, but as it is pretty much impossible to get good fresh local tomatoes in the winter in Canada, canned is your best bet. Don't shy away from canned tomatoes. A lot of canned fruit and veg are pretty fucking sick, but tomatoes are not at all. They are canned when they are at their ripest - right off the vine - and so are very tasty. The California tomatoes you see in the supermarkets in the winter are grown in warehouses and ripened in trucks. Nothing about that sentence sounds like it ought to involve food.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You'll also want to have at least 3 cups of veg stock warming on the stove. You can use chicken stock if you like, but please use free range organic - it's nicer for the chickens.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">As for veg stock, you can buy it, but that's dumb. It's pretty expensive and you can make it for nothing. I'll post a simple recipe soon. It's easier than shitting your pants.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">"Was there a recipe happening around here somewhere?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Right.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">When you smell the smellies add your dry spices - coriander seed, about a tablespoon, cayenne, about a teaspoon - and let 'em cook for a couple of minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I like to grind my own spices mortar and pestle style. I only buy coriander seed whole - the flavour is just better than the pre-ground junk. Grind the coriander seed with the cayenne in the mortar and pestle with a pinch of salt to combine the flavours. If you're looking to grind your own cayenne, it's usually found in the grocery store whole as bird eye peppers. A mortar and pestle setup is pretty cheap and is ultimately invaluable. Electric spice grinders are quick and easy - and necessary for some harder seeds, like fenugreek - but the heat and friction from the fast moving blade vapourizes many of the natural oils in herbs and spices, diminishing the flavour. You'll never have better pesto than one made by hand with a mortar and pestle.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjinUnzh7Xcps5X7jBk4QbuT985bjeU__Z32VYAChkOOeydJS7nNWSqle55IlkOR3VRP1PSp93WK0MtznInLZw9kFN-4Upm5_M4chMn_qAwHt6Ay1S5AxKDpTey39jjFGqs3L069wZ89sLi/s1600/IMG_5563.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjinUnzh7Xcps5X7jBk4QbuT985bjeU__Z32VYAChkOOeydJS7nNWSqle55IlkOR3VRP1PSp93WK0MtznInLZw9kFN-4Upm5_M4chMn_qAwHt6Ay1S5AxKDpTey39jjFGqs3L069wZ89sLi/s320/IMG_5563.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Don't have one? Get this one here: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Stone-Granite-Mortar-Pestle-Capacity/dp/B00016QXYK?ie=UTF8&tag=epiwhaailyo0d-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Stone (Granite) Mortar and Pestle, 8 In, 3+ Cup Capacity</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B00016QXYK" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">"Is this a fucking soapbox lecture or a recipe?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Stir in the pureed tomatoes and the stock. Vij's recipe calls for 6 cups water or 3 cups stock 3 cups water. I originally made this soup to use as a dip for some prawntons, so I intentionally left out half of the liquid to have a thicker broth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I can't imagine it any other way. Vij also notes that one may add heavy cream for a richer soup. Personally, I don't much care for cream soups unless they're made with coconut milk. I love that shit.*<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Anyhow, you've got your liquid in the pot so you're laughing. Bring it to a boil and then lower it to a simmer and cook for 30 minutes. Finish it with chopped cilantro right before serving.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now would be a great time to pull that paneer out of the frying pan.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You didn't have your paneer frying?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Well that was fucking stupid.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Fortunately, it's just soup, so it can sit for a while whilst you get your act together.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Fry your paneer at hot medium - that's just above halfway on my stove - until dark brown. Both sides.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWH3sybDRZHxMhFM_P8TCdxEyDYeP0_dJd-hCPWs32aUZnnYNFtArWaCQt3dEKPcZxt-yQp10ZvJ9DCfJSPnkgqQNY5peHvEacmtivqnZPcPhdYcRKE4PdOIPDaFqQqj4XuZYch_gNtbIx/s1600/IMG_5555.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWH3sybDRZHxMhFM_P8TCdxEyDYeP0_dJd-hCPWs32aUZnnYNFtArWaCQt3dEKPcZxt-yQp10ZvJ9DCfJSPnkgqQNY5peHvEacmtivqnZPcPhdYcRKE4PdOIPDaFqQqj4XuZYch_gNtbIx/s320/IMG_5555.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Remove it from the pan and cube it. Place it in a fancy bowl, or a fucking paper cup - I don't care.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Take your lovely tomato soup and ladle it over the paneer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDcEC-c-YtSGZLcvcIZ5iqEKmhbpGuoVJfPmogctZsoL_72mZy2B-XnwaD4oJcSxXg7KVit9fTudcZdhOud73O-rC2PkmAv47vioKx58-c9ju4binguLUnm5POkSFNTfu8mXPmGwtaItvX/s1600/IMG_4546.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDcEC-c-YtSGZLcvcIZ5iqEKmhbpGuoVJfPmogctZsoL_72mZy2B-XnwaD4oJcSxXg7KVit9fTudcZdhOud73O-rC2PkmAv47vioKx58-c9ju4binguLUnm5POkSFNTfu8mXPmGwtaItvX/s320/IMG_4546.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Eat it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Smile.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">* I have since made this recipe with more liquid - one cup stock, one cup coconut milk - and it was lovely.</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
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</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-9833608786648131472011-05-03T22:17:00.000-07:002011-05-03T22:17:49.483-07:00Easy Cheesy: Cracked Pepper Saffron Paneer<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Wanna impress your friends, but don't have a lot of time or talent?</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Tired of looking like a hopeless putz.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Sick of jerkoff bloggers giving you a hard time when all you're trying to do is read the fucking blog?</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Why not do something about it, eh?</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Why not make your own cheese?</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Maybe Indian cheese...</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: 18px;">Paneer.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: 18px;">Yeah, that'll impress your friends.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"What?" they'll say, "You made your own cheese?!? Holy fuck!"</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Making cheese takes time and effort; this is a fact. Well, it's mostly true.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But making paneer is pretty fucking simple.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Paneer, or panir, is an unripened Indian cheese. It has a firm texture and the very cool property of not melting when you fry it.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Pretty rad, right?</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It also has the property of having essentially no flavour, which is fine for most of its usual applications. If you've had Indian food you know that flavour needn't be added via cheese.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I, however, see no reason why a boring tradition can't be livened up with a bit of flavour, so I offer up my super simple recipe for Cracked Pepper Saffron Paneer.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Here's what you're gonna need:</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">1. A litre of milk - use whole fat milk. Low fat milk is stupid and it doesn't fucking work. If you're concerned about your weight, don't eat fucking cheese. If you're going to eat cheese, eat cheese, not dairy-scented water loaf.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">2. 62.5ml of lemon or lime juice - yes, that is a bullshit measurement. I don't measure for shit. I'm just guessing that the juice of one lime is about that much, or the juice of half a regular-sized North American lemon.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">3. A smidge of salt - about half a teaspoon or so.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">4. Saffron. A thing or two about saffron: saffron is the world's most expensive spice, and by a considerable margin. So, feel free to leave it out or to substitute another flavour that you enjoy. The great thing about paneer is that it will soak up whatever flavour you stick in it. That being said, there are some things to consider when selecting and using saffron. Very rarely do I buy the fancy-pants saffron; you know, the kind that looks like red-headed orphan pubes. My local specialty shop carries a variety called American Saffron. Near as I can tell, it is machine-harvested whereas the good stuff is harvested by hand. Oh yeah, saffron is the stigma of the crocus flower, so you can imagine the difficulty in hand-harvesting. The American stuff isn't as flavourful, but it is super cheap. One can get all the colour and most of the flavour of proper saffron for much less money but one needs to use about 5 times more - the cost is infinitesimally less. However, if you are using the good stuff, try to select only the red-orange strands as the yellow ones tend to be slightly bitter - you will not see any yellow in the best saffron.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">5. Fresh-cracked black pepper. Don't use the pre-ground stuff. If you have that shit in your house you should throw it out. It's crap. If you don't have a pepper mill, go buy one - it's worth it.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">6. Fresh thyme. A sprig'll do ya. You can pull the leaves off and put 'em right in with everything or you can throw in the whole sprig and take it out at the end. Whichever you prefer. Hell, you can say, "Fuck thyme" for all I care; it's your fucking cheese.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">7. Cheesecloth</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So here's the technique. Easy as balls:</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Put your fatty milk in a fatty pot (heavy-bottomed saucepan) with the salt and spices and bring it gently to a boil. Yes, gently; don't just crank up the stove to High and fuck off on it. You have to keep an eye on it. Boiled-over milk is a huge pain in the ass, and it's amazing how quickly things can go from "a pot of warm milk" to "holy fuck there's milk everywhere!"</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So keep an eye on it.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFHKk7vrTsKvc0OG9JkSjJsOs2TPMaRBtXhN0QHxOCyJy3pROmK0-kd2aDMmkRr5erIDxiRLLN7IPj55N98gcwRzs5j_hLTEuHG7C6ilWAukjpLuTcyKSOliMrSVi_hA39yhFOIkqBluSM/s1600/IMG_5530.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFHKk7vrTsKvc0OG9JkSjJsOs2TPMaRBtXhN0QHxOCyJy3pROmK0-kd2aDMmkRr5erIDxiRLLN7IPj55N98gcwRzs5j_hLTEuHG7C6ilWAukjpLuTcyKSOliMrSVi_hA39yhFOIkqBluSM/s320/IMG_5530.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div></div><div align="center" class="separator" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The second that the milk starts to boil, kill the heat and stir in the citrus. You'll notice that the milk curdles pretty much instantly.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Yay! It's working!</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdJXOgvfD5LR24ZFWXN3uTZbXm4UzZfg7qoaoSFxM-CaAerp58p81352Hr1HVeYDyRyxverERjMvi6idobsVnFYv-QFlBxf2oSpdWbBotpGhqrg3dlN1WcYqR2DlW0Pe3sXhRqM4wjQuqY/s1600/IMG_5534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdJXOgvfD5LR24ZFWXN3uTZbXm4UzZfg7qoaoSFxM-CaAerp58p81352Hr1HVeYDyRyxverERjMvi6idobsVnFYv-QFlBxf2oSpdWbBotpGhqrg3dlN1WcYqR2DlW0Pe3sXhRqM4wjQuqY/s320/IMG_5534.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div align="center" class="separator" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Let the whole mess sit for about 15 minutes or so. Then, you'll need some cheese cloth. You'll need at least 3 layers - I use 4. Fashion the cheesecloth over a sieve and put it in a bowl. When the cheese mixture is done sitting there doin' it's thing, dump it into the cheesecloth.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBEY-o9oivHnmWN0MnGdvfs9Z1UuXrpfaRQUYh-EYueSNKRIqVkY4qhEJBwAbAXaRvEpHZmWBIhSHmwv2IjTcaXI1mjeXMBSDKHohyphenhyphenRiO4WcfTGQDg_jDTwgQEcwaFOcHIkDCiUHgSz7KY/s1600/IMG_5535.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBEY-o9oivHnmWN0MnGdvfs9Z1UuXrpfaRQUYh-EYueSNKRIqVkY4qhEJBwAbAXaRvEpHZmWBIhSHmwv2IjTcaXI1mjeXMBSDKHohyphenhyphenRiO4WcfTGQDg_jDTwgQEcwaFOcHIkDCiUHgSz7KY/s320/IMG_5535.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></span></a></div><div align="center" class="separator" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Now grab the whole deal and tie it up into a bag. Tie the bag to a cabinet handle or something and let the cheese hang, over a bowl, for several hours.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgowpXfFjcB2zt9_FScc1hknVOgjZCxPjAjYp8YSI4-aN0Ql6GL2XWUfJhyu6TyuM4A3XtE2DC46Qy6t6j-UJ55cboBZtWzpFxyl6f0RLqvrTwU-3TocYCznCKg-dAcEphDKgLfKJ-MjpMO/s1600/IMG_5537.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgowpXfFjcB2zt9_FScc1hknVOgjZCxPjAjYp8YSI4-aN0Ql6GL2XWUfJhyu6TyuM4A3XtE2DC46Qy6t6j-UJ55cboBZtWzpFxyl6f0RLqvrTwU-3TocYCznCKg-dAcEphDKgLfKJ-MjpMO/s320/IMG_5537.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="180" /></span></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">When ya figure it's done hanging out, or when your roommate or spouse tells you to take that fucking bag off the cupboard door, untie the satchel but keep the cheese covered. Stick it between a couple of plates or something similar and weight it on the top. Leave it in the fridge for a bunch of hours and it's done.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Woot.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzC_mH9naC08CooCjDoj-ljEvTl6eR1Nykionmzg4jtTil4Hh7IguY29HyxRDcC6WaX7cq77LSNw3x0A7sHOTDekdqUDf9J8pbrY6lYsM088AZJ0gqLnOkWGp-WcHQQRlq-yVP25fG585g/s1600/IMG_5542.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzC_mH9naC08CooCjDoj-ljEvTl6eR1Nykionmzg4jtTil4Hh7IguY29HyxRDcC6WaX7cq77LSNw3x0A7sHOTDekdqUDf9J8pbrY6lYsM088AZJ0gqLnOkWGp-WcHQQRlq-yVP25fG585g/s320/IMG_5542.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Now I suppose one could just go ahead and eat it as is, but I'm not gonna.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm gonna fry mine up nice and golden-like, cut it into little bits and throw it into an Indian tomato soup.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Stay tuned for the soup...</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img alt="Description: http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=salivat-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=068482471X" border="0" height="1" src="file:///C:/Users/eljacko/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image005.gif" style="cursor: move;" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_7" width="1" /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-89516893005244624112011-05-01T22:57:00.000-07:002011-05-01T23:31:14.099-07:00Inari for Dummies<div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; padding-bottom: 2pt; padding-left: 0cm; padding-right: 0cm; padding-top: 0cm;"><div class="underline"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">So, I've been having a minor facebook disagreement with some douchetards from Earls Restaurant about the quality of the sushi at that establishment. Put quite simply, the sushi there is fucking garbage that I wouldn't feed to my ex-girlfriend's stupid fucking poodle. But, on the plus side, it's ridiculously overpriced: $11 for maki and you have to chew the fuck out of the shitty rice - I actually bounced a roll off the table without it falling apart! I don't claim to have any real sushi skill. My knife skills are mediocre, and I can't roll maki worth a shit. I don't make sushi because I can't, so I eat it at restaurants A LOT. I know shitty sushi, and I'll even eat it when it's 3 bucks a roll, but when I pay for good sushi I don't expect Pender Street takeout quality, I expect good food.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">So I can't make sushi - this is established; I can, however, make pretty good shari (sushi rice), and I can stuff it into pre-made tofu pockets. That's right, it's inari, and you can make about 20 of them for the cost of one of those shitty Earls rolls with the bonus that they are actually edible. They're not fancy, they're not difficult.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">They're delicious and they're cheap - neither the former nor the latter apply to the Earls product.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">So let's do inari already.</span></span></div></div><div class="underline"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">First, the rice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Very fucking simple. Soak and rinse the rice until the water runs clear and then let it soak for at least 30 minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I usually leave mine overnight - not for any reason to which I am privy, just because I once knew a badass sushi chef who did it that way. Good enough reason for me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">To cook it, use equal parts rice to water. Bring it to a boil in an uncovered saucepan then lower the heat to as low as ya got and cook covered for 15 minutes or so. Want to know if it's done for sure? Fucking taste it. Don't listen to those nancies who insist that taking the lid off of cooking rice at any point prior to the set time limit ruins the rice. They are stupid.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Take off the fucking lid.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Taste the fucking rice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">When glutinous Japanese rice is done, it is super sticky with a nice toothiness to it - sort of like el dente pasta, but not really.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Dump that shit outta the pot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Oh shit, there's some stuck to the pot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">OH NO!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Yup, there's rice stuck to the pot. There will always be rice stuck to the fucking pot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Quit crying about it and soak your fucking pot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Note: an alternative to the above method is the purchase of a rice cooker. Every sushi restaurant in the world uses rice cookers. You can too; your rice will still stick to the fucking pot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">There you made the rice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Oh fuck.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Wait.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">No, you didn't. You just cooked it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">The key to sushi rice is, of course, the vinegar - the shari-zu.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">There are as many different ways to prepare shari-zu as there are sushi chefs (note: census results pending).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Mine is adapted from Nobu.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You'll need a cup of vinegar. Nobu uses red vinegar, some like white, I use black - all of them are rice vinegars. I like the earthy, grainy flavour of the black vinegar. It is the darkest of the three, which should be obvious if you know your colours.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Anyhow, you'll need a cup of your favourite rice vinegar with about a quarter of it reserved.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Bring the non-reserved portion, 3/4 cup, to a simmer, NOT A BOIL, with a bit more than 2 tablespoons of nice salt (don't use the iodized table salt garbage. Take that shit and throw it in the trash with your pre-ground black pepper), more than a tablespoon of mirin (NO SUBSTITUTIONS), and about 2/3 cup of good sugar (stay away from the plain white refined garbage), and finally, a nice chunk of kombu - about the size of your thumb.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">The best sushi chefs - I'm talking about you, David-san - adjust their shari recipes according to the weather - more sugar in the summer, more salt in the winter, variations with rain and junk.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I don't do that. I'm not that sushi smart. the only variation in my shari is resultant from my unwillingness to measure carefully.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Anyhow, don't let that shit boil.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">As soon as the sugar is dissolved, add your seaweed - the kombu - and turn off the heat.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Let that shit cool.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">When it's cool, add the remaining vinegar.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Why?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Because I fucking said so.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Well, actually, because Nobu fucking says so:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> "When cool, add the remaining vinegar because heating tends to destroy its bouquet."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">So says the master.</span><iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=salivat-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=4770025335&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Don't know who Nobu is?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Well, you have likely heard of Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto, no?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Yeah. Morimoto was head chef at Nobu, and got his start in Iron Chef from there.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Nobu is the shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now you've got your rice and your vinegar.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You're in business.</span><iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=salivat-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0756631238&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">For the record, it's a pretty good idea to make the shari-zu prior to making the rice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">So, your rice is cooked.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Dump it into your hangiri.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">"What the fuck is a hangiri?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">It's that big wooden tub you see your favourite sushi chef cutting his rice in. Don't have one?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Yeah, me neither.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I just toss my rice out on a sheet pan. There are, apparently, some real advantages to a hangiri, but I have a small kitchen so I stick to the bare essentials. I do recommend picking up a nice, flat, thin, wooden spatula for cutting the rice. I got mine for under 2 bucks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">For instruction on cutting your rice, I turn to Iron Chef Morimoto:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> "The hot rice is worked with a large wooden spatula. Sushi Vinegar is added to season the rice, poured over the spatula to drizzle gently onto the rice. The rice is not stirred, but is cut sideways and folded over so that the flavoring (sic) is evenly incorporated and the moisture evaporates. You need to keep cutting to break up any lumps of rice. The finished, partly cooled rice begins to separate into individual grains as you keep flipping it over, removing each individual grain off the spatula to avoid their becoming dry. Then the rice is left to set for 5 to 10 minutes before being formed into actual sushi."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">There you have it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now you're gonna wanna make inari, methinks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">This is the easy part.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Well, really, it's all the easy part. Sushi is, generally speaking, fucking hard to make. Inari is easy as fuck.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">The hard part, in a lot of places, is finding the aburaage - the little tofu pockets in which to stuff your shari.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I live in Vancouver, so it's not a challenge. If you live somewhere where you cannot get aburaage, I would suggest following this advice:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">fucking move.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Great, you've moved.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyou-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00013YMVO&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><br />
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now we can move on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You've got your little pockets and now you can stuff whatever the fuck you want into them. You can stick your dick in 'em if you want. I don't care, just don't tell me about it - unless it's awesome, then I might want to hear about it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Whoa.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Way off track.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Anyhow, take your pockets and stuff 'em with your shari. I like to smear wasabi in there first, but you can do whatever you like (v.s.).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzdIPKLs7Rrgpegjj0npU08KalyK-VliRvWJEkgYwoVS2m0gGqx6RhaYer_GA5WUEI0C2rsfcixUjfmWJUDO95kuxXkQWQMrn875e9d7ux0aH4gzIWmHdvkbXC9DOBDTbWOej4o4Wzomq/s1600/194416_10150163305665406_503820405_8791297_2142210_o-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzdIPKLs7Rrgpegjj0npU08KalyK-VliRvWJEkgYwoVS2m0gGqx6RhaYer_GA5WUEI0C2rsfcixUjfmWJUDO95kuxXkQWQMrn875e9d7ux0aH4gzIWmHdvkbXC9DOBDTbWOej4o4Wzomq/s320/194416_10150163305665406_503820405_8791297_2142210_o-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look closely and you can see the wasabi yumminess.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Eat it.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">If you come up with any interesting variants I would love to hear about it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Tell me what's in your pockets!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVl7uYZLJenqjQsNBdlo8iPFqRaicdLuLwy-OV7edq8x-dzc4ND3AYuGlbdzyXbI8g2BRCgKAmt60cQxzyCbhkxq_og4GLBRen3Z8976F1xGs_vV1GUrAueJI8tI0ufwmP8ZzV4m2jFKbW/s1600/194202_10150163305755406_503820405_8791299_2052599_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVl7uYZLJenqjQsNBdlo8iPFqRaicdLuLwy-OV7edq8x-dzc4ND3AYuGlbdzyXbI8g2BRCgKAmt60cQxzyCbhkxq_og4GLBRen3Z8976F1xGs_vV1GUrAueJI8tI0ufwmP8ZzV4m2jFKbW/s320/194202_10150163305755406_503820405_8791299_2052599_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It looks like a lot, but if you're like me<br />
you'll eat them all in a single sitting.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-66348462472132671722011-05-01T10:00:00.000-07:002011-05-06T01:11:24.735-07:00Miso-marinated Sablefish with Torrontes Sunchoke Espresso Reduction<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">This recipe gets a little fucking fancy. Nothing about it involves any real technical prowess, but there are a bunch of elements and it takes a lot of fucking time.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Here’s what you’ll need first:<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Sauce – you can’t find this shit in a fucking jar, so you’ll have to go buy some ingredients. Here’s some suggestions, keeping in mind that all measurements are approximations and are more than likely inaccurate:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">An onion – this is a pretty accurate measurement, actually. For this purpose you can cut the onion any ol’ way you fucking please. There won’t be any onion on the plate; all the solid ingredients will be strained from the sauce prior to the final reduction and mounting.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Some sunchoke – an amount about equal to your onion, perhaps a bit more, cut any ol’ fucking way - also called Jerusalem artichoke, theses little gems are becoming much more common in supermarkets so shouldn’t be too tough to round up. If you can’t find ‘em you can probably substitute something else, but I wouldn’t worry about it – the sauce can still be delicious without them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">4 cloves garlic, chopped – don’t use the pre-chopped canned junk or a garlic press. The pre-fab shit is flavourless, and using a press removes the flavourful oils from the garlic and leaves them stuck in the press. Get out your knife and chop that shit yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">A bottle of wine – you only need a cup for the recipe, the rest is purely recreational. I used a delightful white called Torrontes – strong evidence that there is more to Argentina than Malbec and Patagonia.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">4 cups vegetable stock – or 3? I don’t fucking know. It’s an eyeballed measurement for sure.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">½ teaspoon ground espresso – this may seem like a strange ingredient, and the strong coffee smell when you add it may mislead you into thinking you’ve just made espresso sauce, but trust me, it works perfectly.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">2 tablespoons cold butter cut into little cubes – this is for mounting your sauce, so make sure you keep it cold. I once overheard a dumb broad, working professionally as an executive chef, tell her line staff to use melted butter for the buerre blanc to speed things up. This dumb broad is no longer employed as a professional chef. You can’t mount sauce with melted butted – it just doesn’t fucking work.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">There, that’s all you need.<br />
Now cook that shit into a yummy sauce.<br />
<br />
“Um, li’l help.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Oh, right.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Heat a large saucepan on medium. When hot, add a tablespoon or so of oil and throw in your onion – it should sizzle, if it didn’t your pan wasn’t hot yet. Season with salt and pepper and let cook for a minute or so while you get your sunchoke together.<br />
Throw that sunchoke in there. Add a bit more salt and stir that shit up. Let the whole mess cook until things start to get mushy. Add your garlic. When you can smell the garlic in the mix, after about a minute, it’s done. You don’t wanna burn garlic – burnt garlic is awful, so add your veg stock now. Use just enough to cover your veg. Let it simmer on medium heat until reduced by one half – about 30-40 minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">“30-40 minutes?!?”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Yes, 30-40 minutes. I told you this shit takes some time, and it’s going to be even longer than that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">When your sauce has reduced, it’s time to add the wine – about a cup. You can use different types of wine in this sauce depending on the flavour profile you’re going for. I went with the standard “white fish, white wine” pairing, selecting the Torrontes for its nice citrus tones (I’m no wine expert; that’s what is said on the fucking label. I seldom buy wines that don’t tell me what they taste like on the label – I’m classy like that). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Let your sauce simmer for about 20 minutes. Strain off the veg using a fine sieve and add the espresso. Let it simmer for about another 10-20 minutes, tasting all the while. Mount your sauce.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">“Ummmm, what?”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">It’s a culinary term, not a bizarre sexual notion. Put your pants back on.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Turn the sauce to low and add the butter, melting one little cube at a time until you have a glistening little pot of awesome.<br />
Mounted.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Top your fish with it.<br />
<br />
“What fucking fish?”<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">The fucking sablefish. <br />
Didn’t you read the title?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You can use whatever fish you like for this recipe, but sablefish is the best. Sablefish is fucking awesome. It’s also called black cod, but sablefish sounds way more badass and it sounds more exotic and delicious.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Sablefish is also easy as fuck to cook, as is most fish, but with the distinct advantage that it’s actually pretty hard to overcook.<br />
Fish like salmon and halibut have a much smaller window between undercooked and overcooked – that little spot called ‘perfectly cooked’.<br />
Here’s how I cook it:<br />
First, I make miso soup.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">“What? You need a fucking snack first?”<br />
<br />
It’s for the marinade, Shithat.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You’ll want to make your soup from scratch, using miso paste, as a premade soup will have too much water – we’re making a marinade, not a soup. I use a heaping tablespoon of paste to about 1½ cups of water (if it looks like too much water, I just reduce it). Add a small piece of kombu to the mix and about a teaspoon of fresh ginger. Bring it to a boil then remove from heat and let cool. You want to make sure it’s cool as it’s being added to fish and we're not poaching it. This isn’t a poached dish, but a miso-poached fish dish does sound like a pretty good idea.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Ideally, you’ll have read this whole post prior to starting dinner so you’ll know that you should do the marinade well before making the sauce.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I tend to write things out ass fucking backwards. It’s more fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Let your fish marinate for an hour or two while you make your sauce.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Another thing you can do while you’re waiting for that sauce to reduce is to make a fun and tasty garnish.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Here’s how.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Get yourself a sweet potato – one of the orange ones.<br />
“Isn’t that a yam?”<br />
No, it’s a fucking sweet potato. All of those things in the sweet potato section at the grocery store that are labeled ‘yams’ are fucking sweet potatoes. The term ‘yam’ is a stupid grocers' convention to distinguish between varieties of sweet potato. The fucking idiots that came up with it didn’t think to use colours, or perhaps a name that isn’t actually a different vegetable entirely, to distinguish them.<br />
Fucking asstards.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Anyhow, select a SWEET POTATO that isn’t too bumpy; a long, skinny, relatively smooth one is ideal. To form your chips, lay your sweet potato flat, take a vegetable peeler, and run it the length of the sweet potato. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Repeat.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">You’ll be left with nice strips of sweet potato, perfect for fryin'!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Heat your deep fryer to 375F. If you don’t have a deep fryer, as I don’t, you can use a pot on the stove, but be careful. Make sure to use a decent sized pot and to leave lots of room for the oil to expand – by lots of room I mean at least two time the volume of your oil. Safety first. Also, cleaning up oil is a huge pain in the ass.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Cook your sweet potato strips a few at a time. Don’t overload, and give the oil a minute or two between batches to recover. Pull them out of the oil just when they brown on the edges – about 30 seconds. Let them drain on some kitchen paper and set them aside for plating later. Try not to eat them all. Or don’t. Eat them all. I don’t care.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Now what else are we having with this dish? I seem to recall saying that it was a bit complex.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Oh right, rice and veg.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">The rice isn’t that important. It’s a pretty minor element of the dish.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Use whatever rice you like, and cook it how you like it.<br />
I used bamboo rice. It's a Japanese short-grain rice that’s been infused with bamboo juice. It’s a cool green colour, but I don’t notice a significant different between it and regular Japanese short-grain rice. I cook it just like I do basmati – a 1:1.5 rice to water ratio, brought to a boil, covered and simmered on low for 10 minutes, and then left to stand for 5.<br />
<br />
Veg.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I like carrots. Carrots are fucking awesome. Let’s make carrots.<br />
Let’s do bok choy too!<br />
Shanghai bok choy! (sweet battle cry, no?)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Use as much as you think you need. I’m cooking for two so I used 2 carrots and two bok choy. Your preferences may vary.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">I like to chop my carrots into inconsistent shapes by rolling the carrot as I chop.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyou-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000FR2YWK&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe> As for the little bok choys, I just halve them lengthwise. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">In a bowl, combine 2 teaspoons of clarified butter – or just plain ol’ melted butter – with a clove of garlic, a teaspoon of fresh grated ginger, a touch of crushed chill, and a pinch of salt and fresh cracked black pepper. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Have a steamer setup ready to rock when you begin to cook your fish. Steam the veg for about 30 seconds to a minute. Remove from heat and toss them in the garlic and ginger bowl and cover.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Now, at long last, back to our sablefish. It ought to be nicely marinated by now, and should no longer be white but rather more of a miso colour. Preheat your oven to 425F. Throw a cast iron pan on the stove and get it hot. Toss some oil in the hot pan. If you’re using olive oil, make sure to cut it with some vegetable oil – sunflower, saffron, peanut, or whatever – as olive oil has a low smoke point and will burn as soon as it hits that hot pan. Lay your fish in the pan skin side down, touching the side of the fillet nearest you first, and laying it away from you to avoid oil splashing at you. Safety first. Immediately turn off the heat, remove your pan from the element and throw it in the oven until springy to the touch – about 8-10 minutes. Don’t flip it; you don’t need to. Now’s a good time to take care of that veg.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Pull your fish and dress up your plates. I like to use a ring mold to form my rice as a pedestal in the middle of my plate, but you can do your plate however you like.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 21px;">Presentation is important.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 21px;">You see your food before you taste it and an elegant presentation only adds to the dining experience. Also, it shows your dining mate(s) that you care about their food and thus, by extension, them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"> Normally, I would plate my fish directly on top of the rice, but this time I decided to fold my bok choy on the rice and place the fish on top of that. It worked, and looked nice, but balancing the fish on the bok choy was a bit of a pain. I just put the carrots on the side after saucing the fish.<br />
<br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Now, take some of those sweet potato chips from earlier – if you didn’t eat them all while waiting for your food to cook. You probably got some chips that curled up when you fried 'em and some that didn’t. The curly ones make for the most fun presentation – like a little, silly crown for your fish, turning your plate into a Neptunian homage.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">What fun!<o:p></o:p></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCdzX4DpVnZa3FMZGqsKRJsJ8dRwWRRsKbtwafEE15d41GigdOdfR4WM-WN6Di-niDGcS5cPdAAHgt_sYvKfFolXX1ixomAb59fqrS_hVZrq2x13A8Cs_vOaiQtLym-K-RELIa5JVP2ydU/s1600/IMG_6000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCdzX4DpVnZa3FMZGqsKRJsJ8dRwWRRsKbtwafEE15d41GigdOdfR4WM-WN6Di-niDGcS5cPdAAHgt_sYvKfFolXX1ixomAb59fqrS_hVZrq2x13A8Cs_vOaiQtLym-K-RELIa5JVP2ydU/s320/IMG_6000.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's bordering on pageantry, I know.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;">Eat it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 16pt;"><iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0517506629&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-66077755442158556302011-04-30T13:48:00.000-07:002011-05-06T01:13:44.623-07:00Perogies? Gyoza? Pergyozies?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">What to do with a pile of wonton wrappers when one has had prawntons too many times recently.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Hmm...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Ooh!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Perogies sort of!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">The great thing about wonton wrappers, one of the great things, is that you can put whatever the hell you want inside them and cook them pretty much however you like.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I have a bunch of potatoes lying around, so I figure I ought to find somewhere to stick 'em.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">A good guideline for making a filling, be it for perogies, wontons, ravioli, or whatever, is to make something where the shape and portion size is easily manipulated.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">For a lot of fillings, I'll make a puree; since I'm using potato, the choice to mash seems pretty fucking obvious.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I'm using 5 medium sized Yukon gold potatoes for this recipe. There are all kinds of potatoes, with all sorts of different flavour and starch profiles, but I find the Yukon gold to be the best all-round potato - it mashes nicely, roasts great, and even works for fries.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">When it comes to mashed potatoes I prefer more of a smashed potato. Time was when every mash I'd find at a restaurant would be nice, white, strained, fucking baby food purees, but that's not for me, and you don't see it as much in restaurants any more either.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I like to have some texture to my food. I have teeth and I like fucking using 'em. When I'm crapping my pants in a wheelchair in some state-funded nursing home complaining about the weather and every fucking other thing, then and only then do I want fucking potatoes I can chew with my tongue (and I'll still bitch about it).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">At this point you may be realizing that the key to the recipe is good mash. Hell, the key to a lot of meals is good fucking mash. My childhood was full of shitty, gluey garbage mashed potatoes that were either put on the table to show off the good serving dish or as some cruel culinary joke.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You all know these potatoes. Someone in your family makes them and is prouder than shit of their sticky pile of crap.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Boiling potatoes smashing 'em up and then grabbing the skim milk and margarine from the fridge to "cream" 'em does not mashed potatoes make.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">It's shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You just made shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I make shit after I eat my potatoes, not as I'm making them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I don't eat my shit. You shouldn't eat shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Great mashed potatoes are simple, and I offer you the number one key to fluffy and delicious potatoes:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">hot liquid.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Yes, that's right, hot liquid is all it takes. No matter what your liquid of choice, be it cream, meat stock, or my usual choice of veg stock, make sure that you've got it warming on a back burner (or the fucking front if you like) for when you want to do your smashin'.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You can boil or steam your taters; whichever you prefer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Steaming is faster.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Either way you want to avoid overcooking them; but, you've got a pretty decent margin for error when it comes to potatoes. I like to take them off the heat when they are just soft enough to fall off the fork. This way they still have some toothiness to them, but feel free to cook them a bit longer if you like a smoother mash.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">There's lots of ways to make mash from this point. Some chefs like to reserve some of the potato water to add to the mash - I don't know why; there's plenty of better things to add.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I use homemade vegetable stock. It doesn't add the richness of the traditional cream and butter approach, but the flavour is great, and it cuts the calories in half. Adding flavour with fat is great, don't get me wrong, but it very often isn't necessary and I try to avoid it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Also, we're making perogyoza; there'll be opportunity a-plenty to add calories with the sauce should you so desire.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">If you're a mammal muncher you can substitute cow stock; the gelatinous taste and texture of torture appeals to some. Bird stock works too.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Anyhow, off the soapbox and back to the stovetop.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Add the liquid to your smashed potatoes in small amounts; you don't want to add too much liquid or you'll end up making potato soup - while delicious, it is pretty difficult to work with as a filling.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Stop adding liquid when the potatoes reach a consistency you recognize as mashed. Don't know that consistency?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Really?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Well, try out this recipe. If it doesn't work due to potato mush running everywhere, use less liquid next time. If it doesn't work due to flaky, dry tasting potatoes, use more liquid.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">If it works, well, it fucking worked, didn't it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Generally speaking, if you can spoon off a chunk that will hold its shape long enough to be wrapped, you did alright.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">This is the point where your potatoes are going to move from simple mash to superhappyfuntimes stuffing for your wonton thingies.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Here's what I add to my 5 medium potato mash:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">(all measurements are approximate and should not be followed too closely - use your tongue and your judgment)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">2 tbsp garlic scape (chives make a reasonable substitution - sort of)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/4 preserved lemon, minced<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 red onion, finely diced<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">2 cloves garlic, minced<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Salt & Pepper to taste<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Cheese, about 100g, shredded - I used a rather disappointing jalapeno havarti. If there had been cheddar in my fridge, I would have used that. Cream cheese would be awesome too!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Throw the whole wack in a bowl, potatoes included and mix.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">There you have it. You've made wonton/perogy filling.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Easy, right?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Right.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now for sticking it where it belongs.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Buy some wonton wrappers. Or, make them; making them is a huge hassle where the reward doesn't really justify the effort.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Just buy them. It's easy, and they won't be fucked up like the ones you tried to make.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You're gonna need an egg. The egg is gonna be your glue.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You actually only need the yolk, so go ask your grocer for some eggs that are just yolks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Bring a video camera to record her stupefied expression.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">So, separate one egg yolk from the rest of the egg.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">How?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Well, you can glop the yolk back and forth between the two shell halves until you're left with merely yolk, or, my preferred method, you can just crack the egg into your hand and let the egg white run off through your fingers. Do it over a bowl if you want to conserve the white, over the sink if ya don't.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Smash the yolk in a little dish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Get your filling and wrappers ready.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now, there are a shittonne of ways you can stuff a wonton wrapper. I'm using square wrappers, so rectangles or triangles are the best options.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Let's do rectangles. Or, we can make Xtreme Wrecktangles.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Right.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Rectangles, then. Like this:</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqJiW2yRHDplbU4_772_KroVtVOXTHcQbncJ8KTu3f15isL_1IZuR1PW1xsu55K2WQ_Z-y3rMUks0MY9MD3f4wBsK-SPDxIzKAnSFI1uwk3Z-vRUNTEnJ9b-n8tMKVTiuN-W184H2FsDA6/s1600/IMG_5571.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqJiW2yRHDplbU4_772_KroVtVOXTHcQbncJ8KTu3f15isL_1IZuR1PW1xsu55K2WQ_Z-y3rMUks0MY9MD3f4wBsK-SPDxIzKAnSFI1uwk3Z-vRUNTEnJ9b-n8tMKVTiuN-W184H2FsDA6/s200/IMG_5571.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> </span></o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Note the bit of yellow covering half of the perimeter of the wonton wrapper. That's your smashed egg yolk. It's like glue, you'll see.</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">If you've got kids, this part can make for some good family bonding. I love stuffing wrappers, and kids like to help.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Throw a bit around. Get it in your hair. It'll be fun.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Make someone else clean it up and keep rollin'.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Slap a small spoonful of your filling right smack in the middle of your wrapper thusly:</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFVWf3gDaEmVWkrbnIduSCeQOqQp7jP15_uKeMQTgR2nsXzkCWWslato5ivh0w2ba8kI6zIMukxsaqQ30fm32n_Fczt-c7ActUkYTPgoRjZs8g5dH1BTCRaRkey7E6Li5zAVQyfn9KnUH_/s1600/IMG_5573.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFVWf3gDaEmVWkrbnIduSCeQOqQp7jP15_uKeMQTgR2nsXzkCWWslato5ivh0w2ba8kI6zIMukxsaqQ30fm32n_Fczt-c7ActUkYTPgoRjZs8g5dH1BTCRaRkey7E6Li5zAVQyfn9KnUH_/s320/IMG_5573.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Huhcha!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now fold that shit over so it looks like this:</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjowL2emP-C3PEWT7oxFHsFVWF1SwDr3RQ7lHa0mAf7mcdQQnZS9eSk5uJPXKmfMZGPfvoOcelnSNpSq_6J23_SGpq5kAwFfaWLkLWT-VmLL2hPKyyKyS4wmGHVOiCO5jI9lVXDtOz8CPgM/s1600/IMG_5577.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjowL2emP-C3PEWT7oxFHsFVWF1SwDr3RQ7lHa0mAf7mcdQQnZS9eSk5uJPXKmfMZGPfvoOcelnSNpSq_6J23_SGpq5kAwFfaWLkLWT-VmLL2hPKyyKyS4wmGHVOiCO5jI9lVXDtOz8CPgM/s320/IMG_5577.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Nice package.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">It's pretty important at this stage to make sure that your package is sealed. The corners where you folded it over are the most likely spot for leaks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Why is this important?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Well, if you're going to throw these little fuckers in hot water, and you just might, any gaps in the seal allow water in and filling out.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">These are both things you don't want.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">If you're going to bake or pan fry the cocksuckers then sealing isn't such a big deal; water won't get in to wreck your shit, but you might lose some filling. Getting in the habit of making good seals doesn't hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">So there you go - little fucking perogyoza.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">As you may have gathered, you can pretty much cook them however the fuck you want. Here's the options I can think of presently:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Bake - put them all on an oiled sheet pan and brush them with oil. Cook in a hot oven (375F) until nicely browned - 15-20 minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Fry - frying pan medium high with vegetable oil. Cook each side until browned - about 2 minutes per side. This is the fast but boring way.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Boil - throw them in boiling water and take them out when they float. You can eat them just like that, but I won't.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">The PEROGYOZA way - boil, as above, and set aside. You may want to pat them down with a kitchen towel to remove some of the water. You're about to put them in hot oil. Water and hot oil makes for a very exciting mix. So pat them dry.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now heat veg oil in a pan on medium heat. Throw in your perogyoza and cook ON ONE SIDE ONLY. Yup, one side only. This is the part that makes 'em like gyoza, and makes them fun to eat.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">What you're left with is a little pocket of awesomeness that is sticky and soft on one side and crispy on the other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Perfect.</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR8fCzb0KY-6G62EWzLaqJC24eyG3-h4BW6dx9Rvth7z5Q2msJkVy2YmiOFLzED_kFbpzXcAcBdtWU_YojFfC2mexN6Ho2co9rPJI6Zrmh910UiyerfEkxT3fpDqAa6sdOHQwsygUu9iP_/s1600/IMG_5578.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR8fCzb0KY-6G62EWzLaqJC24eyG3-h4BW6dx9Rvth7z5Q2msJkVy2YmiOFLzED_kFbpzXcAcBdtWU_YojFfC2mexN6Ho2co9rPJI6Zrmh910UiyerfEkxT3fpDqAa6sdOHQwsygUu9iP_/s320/IMG_5578.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> As for saucing the little bastards, you can use whatever you like that you think would go with potatoes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Use fucking gravy if you like.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Tomato sauce would be nice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Cream sauce maybe?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Seriously, use whatever you like.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Here's what I did this time:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I threw some onions in a medium-low pan with a bit of olive oil and S&P to caramelize. As they browned I tossed in some tofu and red pepper. This is while I'm waiting for the water to boil.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I dumped the works on top of the finished perogyoza and finished it with a balsamic syrup.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">What's balsamic syrup? Stay tuned to future blogs - it'll come up. I love that shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Anyhow, it turned out like this:</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiKsYt_QcIYDTu6N4CSzgkH8bhuEqm_is1b7QKftmTCsICorq1cr8izgBdthfemU3tgzpVvCe-CRxF6xw_CRt9z3trXmSk4BYICcDjqntRtz_JGD_N46gmsN4xNGdER9qIGK8W_tH3tYpI/s1600/IMG_5582.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiKsYt_QcIYDTu6N4CSzgkH8bhuEqm_is1b7QKftmTCsICorq1cr8izgBdthfemU3tgzpVvCe-CRxF6xw_CRt9z3trXmSk4BYICcDjqntRtz_JGD_N46gmsN4xNGdER9qIGK8W_tH3tYpI/s320/IMG_5582.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Yum.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Your turn.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Make it.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Eat it.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Down-out-Paris-London-unabridged/dp/B00088798K?ie=UTF8&tag=epiwhaailyo0d-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Down and out in Paris and London: Complete and unabridged (Avon, red and gold library)</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B00088798K" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyo0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1579651267&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span></span></div></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-30973616789236850272011-04-30T02:46:00.000-07:002011-04-30T02:46:12.170-07:00Royal Tribute!This post is my tribute to The Royal Wedding.<br />
<br />
It's nothing.<br />
<br />
Yup, nothing.<br />
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Suck it, princess.The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-35579717393356513032011-04-29T21:09:00.000-07:002011-05-09T01:26:36.475-07:00Soup du Jour: Moroccan Maple-Roasted Butternut Squash (vegan)<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">I fucking love soup; soup kicks ass.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Tonight I'm making, well, you read the fucking title didn't you.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">That's what I'm making.</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">"Moroccan maple-roasted? Are there a lot of maple trees in Morocco?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">It's fusion, fucknut, and it's fucking delicious.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Here's what you'll need:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1 good sized butt squish</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> (for the daft, that's a butternut squash)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">4 tbsp maple syrup</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - splurge for the good stuff. You can substitute shitty pancake syrup if you want, but it'll fucking suck. That shit is just empty garbage calories with no flavour.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1 bulb celeriac, diced</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - also called celery root. Although not from the same plant where we get our everyday celery, it is a relative and has a distinct celery flavour. Celeriac is grossly underutilized, I think mostly because it's ugly. But like so many things, it is beautiful on the inside (no, ugly girls, I don't mean you).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMJ8jTGO2mBEIDeZs2JwD6ri6a4xKljZaE3FQ-vOcTVTFbCHGOaLiEJVf6xnnTXdR2qcFFKdPzp8hEw3SFWLFWhzMGgY9by7idqa7Lf-3-sgvSfRZOTaKbmy-MspgxLTkkrzw-jjvq7BX1/s1600/IMG_5656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMJ8jTGO2mBEIDeZs2JwD6ri6a4xKljZaE3FQ-vOcTVTFbCHGOaLiEJVf6xnnTXdR2qcFFKdPzp8hEw3SFWLFWhzMGgY9by7idqa7Lf-3-sgvSfRZOTaKbmy-MspgxLTkkrzw-jjvq7BX1/s200/IMG_5656.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcZBtpigG_i4IDbHkcehuTmwj5XSXe6Om39LRFf2F_hYKPoIEYVFTXatzGWtX7qlGgJeOP4RDeSTLDdYhnD4s5mtZ53-gY7TKJICM2hOLle-fRMhqLvkjD06ushIcFjSYeLQMm3ue6Sxjt/s1600/IMG_5659.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcZBtpigG_i4IDbHkcehuTmwj5XSXe6Om39LRFf2F_hYKPoIEYVFTXatzGWtX7qlGgJeOP4RDeSTLDdYhnD4s5mtZ53-gY7TKJICM2hOLle-fRMhqLvkjD06ushIcFjSYeLQMm3ue6Sxjt/s200/IMG_5659.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1 medium onion, diced</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - I like to use red onion for nearly everything; I very seldom buy anything else. The only regular exception being Walla Walla Sweets, but they're only around in the summer - at least in these parts. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 head of garlic, minced </span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">- more or less to suit your tastes. I love garlic and think garlic breath is sexy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">3/4 cup red lentils</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - these will disappear in the soup and are mostly in this recipe as a thickener and nutritional additive.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">3/4 cup puy lentils</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - if you can't find these beautiful French lentils you can substitute regular green lentils, but I wouldn't bother. Just leave them out; the soup will still be rad.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">6 ripe plum tomatoes</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - I'm using canned San Marzano; ripe local tomatoes simply don't exist in Vancouver in March.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1 can (400ml) coconut milk</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Fresh coriander or parsley</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> for garnishing<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1 lemon</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - get an organic one as we'll be using the zest. Using the zest on conventional lemons is tantamount to taking a shot of Roundup (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">citation missing</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">8 cups veg stock</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - the pre-packaged shit is way overpriced; make your own - it's as cheap as it is easy. Wanna know how? Here's how:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Start by keeping your vegetable scraps in the freezer. If you don't use enough vegetables to make a pot of stock every week you are likely not eating enough vegetables. The fun thing about doing it this way is that your stock is little bit different each time. If you need an emergency stock and don't have any veg go to the store and buy a couple of onions, a handful of carrots, some celery and a tomato or two. Rough chop 'em and throw 'em in a large pot. Add a teaspoon of whole coriander seed, a couple of bay leaves, a few black peppercorns, and a sprig of thyme - or rosemary if you like. Cover the works with water until the vegetables are just more than covered. Crank up the stove. Bring it to a boil and then lower to a simmer. Let it sit on the stove and simmer until reduced by about 1/8 to 1/4 depending on how rich you want your stock, about an hour. Strain off the veg and discard.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Marvel at your new found independence.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5n2CkVVh8F6B9hm1fUnbg1TNsZHaHkaSg-8XaZEcbOcvmjKKlzrRhrV4zaD1e-b3nyk0wUlp-3jKgT5EMf_Mgt9au3T2M4sFXay9lhmrH6ELiJfgI-QcYgxn5VN_-yDo3zoC25VcF7vX4/s1600/success.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5n2CkVVh8F6B9hm1fUnbg1TNsZHaHkaSg-8XaZEcbOcvmjKKlzrRhrV4zaD1e-b3nyk0wUlp-3jKgT5EMf_Mgt9au3T2M4sFXay9lhmrH6ELiJfgI-QcYgxn5VN_-yDo3zoC25VcF7vX4/s320/success.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now the spices, and this is a well-spiced soup.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Ras el Hanout literally means "head of the shop" in some language I don't know - generally the favourite spice blend of the proprietor. Like most spice blends, there are as many variations as there are chefs. Here's what you'll ned to make it my way. Substitute spices as fits your preference.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 tsp fresh cracked black pepper</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 tsp sea salt</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1 tbsp coriander seed</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 tbsp cumin seed</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1 whole star anise</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">2 inch stick of cinnamon bark</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 dozen cloves</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 dozen allspice berries</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 tsp cayenne</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - I use ground, but one whole dry or fresh chili will work as well<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 teaspoon sichuan pepper</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - normally this is a Chinese spice, but I just bought some for the first time and I really like them, so I'm putting them in fucking everything.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1/2 tsp nutmeg</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> (half a nut if you're using whole, and you should be)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">1 teaspoon turmeric</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> - ground turmeric is mostly flavourless, and fresh turmeric is incredibly messy to work with. So why turmeric, then? It makes for nice colour and it has great health benefits - it's the reason that canned chicken soup helps people feel better. I mean, it has to be; that high-sodium, random chicken part, soggy noodle garbage can't possibly be healthy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Take the woody spices and throw them in a medium hot, dry cast iron pan in order of descending woodiness:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">cinnamon, anise, cloves, coriander, cumin, allspice. Don't toast the ground spices - you'll just burn 'em.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Let the spices toast until you can smell 'em - about 3 minutes. Dump 'em into your mortar and let 'em cool. Still don't have a mortar and pestle? C'mon now. They are pretty cheap and pretty useful.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Add the other spices and smash that shit.</span><iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=salivat-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00016QXYK&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">The whole time you're busy with that you should have had your squish in the oven.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You didn't?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">What the fuck?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You've got some catching up to do.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Preheat the oven to 350F.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Split your buttsquish in half lengthwise. Scrape out the guts. You may notice that the seeds are similar to pumpkin seeds; they are indeed. You can roast them up just the same and they're fucking great.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Brush with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Dump a couple of tablespoons of maple syrup into each of the buttsquish cavities.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKIafEySdXO8f4-884Y3nWjCsnYvkCzFfmR9ShxUVIc7zJVdUPRyVJg0sB4pKMuyVsvUSn5eKKiqOSa9LoS4yUDw698-N2jzi0Go34MUPar6s3nfTJowArbiPukERObcsH98TiZVDWoEtn/s1600/IMG_5640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKIafEySdXO8f4-884Y3nWjCsnYvkCzFfmR9ShxUVIc7zJVdUPRyVJg0sB4pKMuyVsvUSn5eKKiqOSa9LoS4yUDw698-N2jzi0Go34MUPar6s3nfTJowArbiPukERObcsH98TiZVDWoEtn/s200/IMG_5640.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div align="center"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable"><tbody>
<tr><td style="padding-bottom: 4.5pt; padding-left: 4.5pt; padding-right: 4.5pt; padding-top: 3pt;"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Note the uneven cut. It doesn't fucking matter - it'll be mush when it's done anyhow.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Oil up a sheet pan and get ready for the fun part. The goal here is to flip your buttsquishies onto the pan, seasoned side down, without letting any of the syrup out. It makes no difference to the cooking process, it's just fun. Stick your squish in the oven and roast for about an hour.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">When it's done, the skin will be wrinkly and it'll squish when you poke it (that's what she said).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSeRl7qe37KwuL_IurQaRNTiyAdCp-75Uf_MXJnfvQPLGYvOCHk0lYYtbe-Q_VzXTxyaHuv1rAQbnovEc9yDD07ubO0caKiuqtCNX86bIKpqUgUsOzKRPbY6ztlfyDG4jt59BYJrYFR5ta/s1600/IMG_5641.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSeRl7qe37KwuL_IurQaRNTiyAdCp-75Uf_MXJnfvQPLGYvOCHk0lYYtbe-Q_VzXTxyaHuv1rAQbnovEc9yDD07ubO0caKiuqtCNX86bIKpqUgUsOzKRPbY6ztlfyDG4jt59BYJrYFR5ta/s200/IMG_5641.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Check out my wrinkly butt.</span></div></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Flip 'em over and scrape up the innards. Set the whole mess aside; you'll be adding it to the soup later.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi7bFBAtWtbx7S-ygqRQS2IA7EC9FwPxA2eDZ98PKTeZsxF35HHkk3MVDj7KFBghYW4TrZjmGV7zefkx2n_m_gttilCDJ7BWqL7-kTL0WBwSgb6W6w17jNLbijbNbu9dWouM-NAlD5TiDD/s1600/IMG_5648.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi7bFBAtWtbx7S-ygqRQS2IA7EC9FwPxA2eDZ98PKTeZsxF35HHkk3MVDj7KFBghYW4TrZjmGV7zefkx2n_m_gttilCDJ7BWqL7-kTL0WBwSgb6W6w17jNLbijbNbu9dWouM-NAlD5TiDD/s200/IMG_5648.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Warm your veg stock on the stove, and heat a large pot (9-10L or larger) to medium.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">When it's hot, add enough vegetable oil to just cover the bottom of the pot - a few tablespoons. Let the oil heat for a minute and then throw in the onion and celeriac. Season with salt and pepper and cook until the onions are softened, stirring occasionally, but not all the fucking time - you gotta let that shit cook. The onion will brown, the celeriac not so much. The celeriac will also still be firm, but don't fret, it'll soften up nicely when you add liquid later on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now that the onions are soft, throw in the garlic and Ras el Hanout. Let the spices cook for a couple minutes - until you can really smell them - and then it's tomato time. If you're using canned tomatoes, like me, they are already skinned and you can just throw them in (no need to chop 'em as the whole mess will get blended at the end). If it's summertime and you're using fresh tomatoes, here's a little trick to get the skin off:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Cut the stem end off your tomatoes and slice an X into the other side. Put them in a bowl and cover them with boiling water. Let them sit for a minute and then remove them from the hot bath. The skins will peel right off.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLwJ4_Hmx9PYqBUjznQDJEh7gIw9msm0rJhZzWXemkGtH208aY46zchs_7GMxiJrICVD5ge5qGBXifp1i2HZvI8V8ueiqvXWWu9uNkEHt6aSrvQd107nT54NBJ0z9_wN7jm2Q1Gaax2ly5/s200/skin-a-tomato.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="200" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sexy, no?<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;">Back to the soup.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;">Stir in your tomatoes and let them cook for a few minutes. You can use this time to mash them up with your spatula if you like, or you can get your lentils ready.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 18px;">Stir in the lentils.</span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifx6k0UgV2WgsvcdSFoNtCaXb745rJ-ubfE6lxEL_x9RM7imsbhTa8KesDkrj3usHHSHHVW8zsUOve8sTVABuO0rVranz_8NosjOSPl4kzkxzLb9gHqMXWTg5jiD0NDMvIlqnMSIZVPxZl/s1600/IMG_5660.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifx6k0UgV2WgsvcdSFoNtCaXb745rJ-ubfE6lxEL_x9RM7imsbhTa8KesDkrj3usHHSHHVW8zsUOve8sTVABuO0rVranz_8NosjOSPl4kzkxzLb9gHqMXWTg5jiD0NDMvIlqnMSIZVPxZl/s200/IMG_5660.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Add the stock.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">All of it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Bring it to a boil and then lower to a simmer. Let it cook for 20 minutes and then add your squishy butt and coconut milk.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Cook for another 10 minutes or so - still at a simmer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">It's blending time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">My partner and I are at ideological odds when it comes to this. She likes to have individual components to her soup; I sometimes do as well, but mostly I puree the shit out of all my soups. That being said, she always eats my soup, but encourages me to leave some identifiable pieces of food in the next one.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Grab your immersion blender already and get to blending.</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYouWQqg_eSAvme8STnRhT9EXw4a9ZK99aQllt84T3Uu2LErpN_PRRak1rKBRcGv-QNtG71hrnP6pbWx5TL_H5hcYxe0lQBEGpd6OnZcm6WThu2i0294HkTP3-zQQc92gKithY5MConZmv/s1600/IMG_5663.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYouWQqg_eSAvme8STnRhT9EXw4a9ZK99aQllt84T3Uu2LErpN_PRRak1rKBRcGv-QNtG71hrnP6pbWx5TL_H5hcYxe0lQBEGpd6OnZcm6WThu2i0294HkTP3-zQQc92gKithY5MConZmv/s200/IMG_5663.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Don't have an immersion blender? </span><iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=salivat-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00008GSA4&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">A regular blender will work, but make sure to blend in small batches, never filling the jug.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">You're blending hot liquid; it tends to expand when you blend it. So, only fill the jug half way or so, and take out the little cap in the middle of the lid and cover it with a kitchen towel that you don't mind getting dirty.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now that you've got your soup, taste it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Good?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Needs salt?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Add salt then.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> Remember, adding salt only makes things salty if you use too much. Mostly, adding salt enhances and brings together the other flavours.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Squeeze in your lemon, using the zest if you bought organic - there's a lot more citrus yumminess in the zest than in the juice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Here's a handy tip for getting the most juice out of your citrus: roll it on the counter before you cut it open - and use good pressure. Also, zesting seems to loosen things up as well.</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMa03AdpUxy03u7BL9uVX0QMq-2L21fi5v6PsfmrxJUYXMw-8Glzhj2gyHwdgohiGB3rqgbUMuQvfMCVc6BkR6slcLXjoDXTzicTvdoxbl-NxjswGWupeExWFgFN_oDxHjGNSjNcF3B4Ug/s1600/IMG_5665.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMa03AdpUxy03u7BL9uVX0QMq-2L21fi5v6PsfmrxJUYXMw-8Glzhj2gyHwdgohiGB3rqgbUMuQvfMCVc6BkR6slcLXjoDXTzicTvdoxbl-NxjswGWupeExWFgFN_oDxHjGNSjNcF3B4Ug/s200/IMG_5665.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Taste that shit again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Good?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Good.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Garnish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I normally use cilantro in this soup, but I didn't have any. I used parsley instead - Italian flat leaf.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Parsley has a subtle flavour but mostly serves to liven up the presentation whereas cilantro actually adds nice complementary flavour.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Now you're garnished.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="margin-left: 12pt;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="padding-bottom: 4.5pt; padding-left: 4.5pt; padding-right: 4.5pt; padding-top: 4.5pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-NJXPaP_J9Gi9Myymq9d6PyKYyFCz7FlcXfX9wyC-CfInCl7Tok-LDiKuzibCfTkTIE6srVaQKRrxRk-1hq4zbdsff7HqrikbHbdmlWPDzXUzq8aFXaFRfx4NOuS7c0DiSErqtir9xgEO/s1600/IMG_5666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="123" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-NJXPaP_J9Gi9Myymq9d6PyKYyFCz7FlcXfX9wyC-CfInCl7Tok-LDiKuzibCfTkTIE6srVaQKRrxRk-1hq4zbdsff7HqrikbHbdmlWPDzXUzq8aFXaFRfx4NOuS7c0DiSErqtir9xgEO/s200/IMG_5666.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></span></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></span></span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr><td style="padding-bottom: 4.5pt; padding-left: 4.5pt; padding-right: 4.5pt; padding-top: 3pt;"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">My garnish is sloppy as fuck; yours needn't be.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">How's that shit look?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Good?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Good.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Eat it.</span></span></div></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-28566698038435683932011-04-25T19:49:00.000-07:002011-05-06T01:17:18.176-07:00Holy Guacamole!<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">I realize it’s not really guacamole season yet, but it will be soon enough so I’ve started early to make sure I eat enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Homemade guacamole is really the only way to eat guac. Anything store bought just isn’t going to have the freshness the really makes guacamole so fucking awesome. Mind you, that is really the case with any processed foodstuffs.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Fresh is best.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Join me in flipping double birds to processed food!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">For guac you’re obviously going to need some avocados. I find that an avocado per person usually works out pretty well.<br />
This recipe is for four people.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Some may be intimidated making guacamole due to unfamiliarity with prepping avocado. It is, however, really quite simple.<br />
Take your knife and line it up lengthwise with your avocado using the stem as your starting point. Cut into the avo until you hit the pit. Turn your knife, cutting around the pit 360 degrees. Twist your avo and pull apart. You are now left with two halves, one with a pit and one without. To remove the pit, simply swing your knife blade lightly into the pit and twist; it’ll pop right out. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Now, take your knife and cut into the flesh, still in the skin, being <iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyou-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B0000Y7KNQ&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>careful not to pierce the skin and thereby your hand. Cut strips lengthwise, about ½ cm apart and then the same crosswise. Use a large spoon to scoop out the shell and empty the flesh into a mixing bowl. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">You can use a food processor to blend your avo, but I prefer my guac to be bit chunky. I like texture. You can also use a potato masher to mush your avo, but if you’ve selected ripe avocado, it’s simply unnecessary (ripe avo, hass avo at least, has dark skin and is slightly soft).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">To prevent browning, it’s best to add your citrus next – I’ve never had an issue with my guac browning, but apparently it can be an issue. Squeeze the juice of one or two limes over your avocado; one lime mostly just preserves the colour, two adds actual lime flavour to your guac.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Time for the spices.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">This is where our guac is gonna be a little bit different than usual – well, one step where it’ll be different.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Grate about half a nutmeg pit into the bowl, add a pinch of saffron, more if you’re using machine-harvested American saffron than if you’re using the nice, hand-harvested stuff. What’s the difference?<br />
Well, being machine harvested, the American stuff comprises both stamen and stigma of the crocus flower as well as some petals. The hand-harvested stuff, the good stuff, is just the nice, deep orange stigma, and that, my friends, is where the money’s at.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyou-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000ND7E7G&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Add a bit of salt.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Give your guac a stir.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Time for some aromatics.<br />
Add roughly one quarter of a medium onion – I use red – minced to the mix. Mince two cloves of garlic and toss that shit in too. Take either a jalapeno pepper or a Serrano pepper and chop it finely to add to the mix. If you like a bit more heat, use the spicier Serrano.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Time for some cilantro action; I use about ¼ cup chopped.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">And, almost finally toss in about ¼ cup of sweet corn.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Yup.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Corn.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">The sweetness of the corn nicely balances the spice of your hot pepper. How do you know if it’s sweet corn? Well, in Canada and the US it’s just what is commonly called corn. There are a shitload of other varieties of corn in the world, but the shit you find in our supermarkets is undeniably the sweet variety. If it’s not, it’ll say so, but it is, so don’t worry.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Stir that shit up; add salt and fresh ground pepper to taste. Put it in a nice serving dish with some chips fer dippin'.<br />
Be proud of yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;">Eat it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qE4MnXJwWFYsc8I_2O7v-YOayryMngms-NyznuhTlI8yGCQIPZwVfnjH6J6dkIDfG0Q6CZtMUTBWq00ucuTt0R6gOIP8ZqauOhMf3DXyQMPoQHZy1-reZAY1QO1aez8eKnxa-XO0-6XD/s1600/Guac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qE4MnXJwWFYsc8I_2O7v-YOayryMngms-NyznuhTlI8yGCQIPZwVfnjH6J6dkIDfG0Q6CZtMUTBWq00ucuTt0R6gOIP8ZqauOhMf3DXyQMPoQHZy1-reZAY1QO1aez8eKnxa-XO0-6XD/s320/Guac.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
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</div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-49090449063690229792011-04-24T00:43:00.000-07:002011-05-06T01:15:48.293-07:00Scallops with Orange Sauce and Couscous. Roast Onion with Asian Veg.<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Scallops are fucking magic.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Period.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I love those little bivalves.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I often see losers fucking them up for Gordon Ramsey and it makes me sad. Not for the losers, but for the scallops. Those shows make them look nearly impossible to cook, but they're actually easy as fuck; maybe even easier than fuck.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Here's how:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Heat a pan. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I use the setting just above the middle on my stove.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Put clarified butter in the hot pan. Not too much - just enough to coat the bottom of the pan, maybe a bit more.<br />
Gently lay your scallops into the pan, one at a time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Let them cook for about two minutes per side. Here’s the trick that I use to get ‘em right every time, as cook time varies based on the size of the scallop: I keep my fucking eye on the little fuckers. As soon as I see some brown around the edge on the first side, I turn them. They should have a nice, dark, golden brown colour to them. Then I cook them the same on the other side.<br />
Fucking simple.<br />
Another thing to watch for are colour and texture changes in the non-contact portion of the scallop. Scallops go from that raw fishy colour to an opaque white when they are cooked, and they have a slightly firm texture that springs back when you poke ‘em.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That’s it, they’re done.</span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now let’s give ‘em some fucking friends to play with, shall we.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is an orange harissa sauce that can actually be used as a marinade as well. I actually use it as a marinade every time I make it for fish, and then I reduce it down to a nice sauce after I remove the fish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">First, you’re gonna need to make a harissa. Don’t be afraid, it’s pretty fucking simple. You are going to need a pestle and mortar setup to make it properly. If you don’t have one yet, you really ought to get one; the difference between machine ground spices, pestos, and the like and hand pounded ones is immense. Machines create too much friction and evaporate flavour. <br />
<br />
“What the fuck is harissa?!?”<br />
<br />
Whoa, fucking chill, I’m getting to it.</span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Harissa is a North African chili paste. It is spicy radness, and a fancy new word you can prance around your dinner party and use to impress people who are easily impressed by new words.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The ingredients for harissa are pretty straight-forward, but vary between regions and chefs. Here’s how I do it:<br />
You’ll need about a dozen dried red chilies, four cloves of garlic, 4 tablespoons or so of olive oil, 2 teaspoons of coriander seed, 1 teaspoon of cumin seed, about a half dozen allspice berries, and about ½ teaspoon each of fresh cracked black pepper and sea salt. DON’T USE SHITTY PROCESSED, PRE-GROUND BLACK PEPPER!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It’s shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Don’t use refined, iodized table salt. It sucks. Lacking iodine in your diet? Send me your address and I’ll mail you some dulse snacks (it’s seaweed, and no, I won’t actually mail you anything).<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyou-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000J1A8MA&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Chop your garlic and throw the whole works into your mortar. Well, actually, it’s easier if you smash up the dry stuff first and then add the other shit. <br />
Smash the whole works together until you have a nice, relatively homogenous, paste.<br />
You will not need all of it for this recipe.<br />
I repeat, YOU WILL NOT NEED ALL OF IT FOR THIS RECIPE.<br />
I won’t repeat it again.<br />
You can just go back and read it again if you’re still confused.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You can use all of it if you want.<br />
It’ll be really fucking spicy, that’s for sure. I used about a teaspoon.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now for the rest of the sauce.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(Again, all measurements are vague approximations of the actual amounts employed)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1 cup of orange juice.<br />
2 big tbsp miso paste, may as well make it 3<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2 tbsp fresh grated ginger – don’t use the powder crap; it’s not the same.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1 tsp of that nice harissa you just made<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1/8 cup sake<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1 tbsp maple syrup – real maple syrup, not that bullshit pancake syrup garbage. Make sure it's pure maple syrup, too - not that maple flavoured crap.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyou-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00271OPVU&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Whisk all the ingredients – except the maple syrup and sake - together in a small saucepan; use a saucier if you’ve got one. Better yet, if you’ve got a saucier pan, send it to me – you don’t need it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Bring it to a simmer and reduce for about 30 minutes, until slightly thickened. Strain it through a fine sieve.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Add your sake and return it to the heat, reducing for about 15 minutes – until the sauce is able to coat the back of a spoon.<br />
Finally, add your maple and take it off the heat.<iframe align="right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=epiwhaailyou-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00005AL89&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: right; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It’s ready for the scallops.<br />
<br />
To do this properly, you’ll want to have your sauce done before you start your scallops. Scallops only take about five minutes to cook, so definitely do the sauce first.</span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I like to plate the sauce first, and serve the scallops on top.<br />
You do it how you like.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, continuing along with the ass backwards approach I’m taking to this recipe, here’s an idea for an accompaniment to your lovely scallops.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Couscous.<br />
<br />
Couscous is the easiest side imaginable. It takes no time and no cooking is involved. <br />
I do it like this:</span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1 cup couscous – the small North African variety, not the bulbous Israeli pasta<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">¼ preserved lemon<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2 cloves garlic<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2 tsp fresh ground coriander seed<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">½ dozen allspice berries<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1 tsp fresh ground cumin seed<br />
1 tsp each sea salt and fresh cracked black pepper<br />
1/8 cup flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped<br />
<br />
Grind your spices together in your mortar and throw the whole works in a bowl.</span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Just before you put your scallops on, bring a kettle to boil.<br />
Pour 1 cup boiling water over your couscous and stir it together. Let it sit until you’re ready to serve.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Veg.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Roast onion:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1 medium red onion<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Cut the ends off your onion. Toss some oil on it and put it in a 350C onion for 45 minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Take it out.<br />
Let it cool enough so you can handle it and remove the paper.<br />
Poke out the middle rings and place the little “bowl” in the center of your plate. Put some couscous in it.<br />
Nice, right?<br />
Now put some veg on top<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Carrot<br />
Broccolini<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Use as much as you think you wanna eat<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1 tbsp fresh ground ginger<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2 tbsp tamari<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1 tsp sesame oil<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Salt and pepper<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Heat a pot that you have a lid for just below medium.<br />
Throw everything in the pot and stir that shit.<br />
Throw on a lid and turn off the heat.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Let ‘em sit for a minute, then take ‘em out and put ‘em on your couscous/onion business.<br />
Plate your scallops beside all that shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Eat it.</span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipD6AiKtcUtHCK1KZRagTjC7jb_dK_U8pBE0jpBjEWj0zqDHCSvLJilk4Dz0MELizUEjAb39F_WAdSKZDZ-dg6HThDKcv3WFyXPl-dObDxsMdWvjT__hAnkwKb8-JSFi5E9TRYp4z-dBiC/s1600/Scallops+and+orange+sauce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipD6AiKtcUtHCK1KZRagTjC7jb_dK_U8pBE0jpBjEWj0zqDHCSvLJilk4Dz0MELizUEjAb39F_WAdSKZDZ-dg6HThDKcv3WFyXPl-dObDxsMdWvjT__hAnkwKb8-JSFi5E9TRYp4z-dBiC/s320/Scallops+and+orange+sauce.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You may have noticed that my onion lacks couscous as I <br />
suggested in the above recipe. <br />
By the time I got to plating I was fucking starving, <br />
so I didn't bother. I served the couscous on the side in a heap.</td></tr>
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</div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4045557072874673120.post-72429066170211357762011-04-21T00:26:00.000-07:002011-04-21T01:48:54.814-07:00Black Chick Pea Falafel with Thick 'N' Chunky Tzatziki<div class="MsoNormal">Here’s what you’re gonna need to cook this shit up.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">(Note: all measurements are approximate and likely inaccurate. I don’t measure, but the below listed measurements should be pretty close. I also encourage people to adjust the seasoning to their personal tastes. Cooking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should</i> be a personal thing. No one recipe is correct. Don’t let those snobby culinary school fucks tell you any different.)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">For the falafel:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1 cup dried black chick peas – you can substitute regular chick peas if you can’t find black ones, but don’t use canned ones. Canned chick peas are precooked so won’t offer the texture that makes a falafel a falafel.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">½ head of garlic, minced<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1 tbsp ground coriander seed<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1 tbsp ground cumin seed<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1 tsp cayenne<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">½ tsp nutmeg<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1 tsp turmeric<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">½ tsp each salt and pepper – use sea salt and fresh cracked black pepper. Processed, pre-ground black pepper is fucking gross.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1 cup parsley, chopped – you can use whatever type of parsley you like. I prefer Italian flat leaf. Curly parsley sucks, and don’t be fooled into buying Chinese parsley, unless, of course, you want cilantro. Chinese parsley and cilantro are the same thing. Brits call it coriander, which actually makes the most sense as it is the leafy growth of the coriander seed – the very same one ground up for this recipe.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">2 tbsp olive oil<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A bunch of vegetable oil for frying – I use sunflower oil. Canola and peanut oil are fine too. Don’t use olive oil; the smoke point is too low – it will burn before you can get it hot enough to fry your falafel. If you have a deep fryer that’s great, but if not a pot on the stove will work just fine. You can also bake them, but they won’t be nearly as good.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Soak your chick peas overnight – it is very important that you do not cook your chick peas or use canned. Falafel is meant to be crispy and crunchy, and you simply cannot get the desired texture using cooked or canned chick peas.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">After soaking, drain the chick peas from the water they were soaking in, rinse ‘em, and toss ‘em in a large bowl.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Take all of your other ingredients, excepting the oil, and combine them in the bowl. Now you’re gonna need to get out your food processor. If you don’t have one, you should get one – they’re super handy. You can use a blender if you must, but it won’t work quite as well.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Pulse the mixture until it reaches a rough consistency. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_xJ3XLHqmGd7fU376DJWhw28Y2pm79zzOxWnVHLJ-tmq_uiQYSsQZ9OfT6ClqUTE_CW9Es-7M4OmdOBjE-sKP2wjC3ZKzTKq4370Z83fxvNyt9x1ncOvtqgpBDCNiJKfSA_l4FpX7-9lU/s1600/falafel+mix.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_xJ3XLHqmGd7fU376DJWhw28Y2pm79zzOxWnVHLJ-tmq_uiQYSsQZ9OfT6ClqUTE_CW9Es-7M4OmdOBjE-sKP2wjC3ZKzTKq4370Z83fxvNyt9x1ncOvtqgpBDCNiJKfSA_l4FpX7-9lU/s200/falafel+mix.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This is another advantage to using dried beans. If you do over blend your ingredients, you’re still going to have a nice texture, whereas over-mixing with canned or cooked beans will leave you with a texture resembling baby shit.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Dump the mixture back into the large bowl and stir in the olive oil. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Now is the fun part – the getting your hands dirty part.<br />
It’s like sandbox time, but with a much more delicious result.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Form the mix into little balls. You can get tools to help you do this, but there’s not much fun in that.<br />
Get your fucking hands dirty; it’s worth it. It connects you with your food, and you can chase your friends around with your mucky hands, freaking them out and shit.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">While you were playing with your balls, you should also have been heating up your oil to 375C. If you don’t have a thermometer, get one. That being said, it should be about medium-high on your stove if you’re using the stovetop method – it’s what I use. Fry your balls until they are a nice golden brown, about 4-5 minutes. Remove them from the oil and place them on kitchen paper. <br />
You can keep them warm in the oven while you build your wrap, or you can have your wrap ready to go. If you have assistance in the kitchen, wrap prep is an excellent task to delegate to your assistant. Red leaf lettuce, nice tomato, and feta cheese go very well with falafel. Put whatever the fuck you want in your wrap, though; no need to listen to me. Falafel is great with a lot of different wrap stuffing.<br />
Tzatziki is a fantastic option.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">You don’t have any tzatziki?!?<br />
That’s fucking stupid.<br />
Here, fucking make some:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> You’re gonna need some ingredients.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">These quantities will give you a shitload of tzatziki, which is great!<br />
Tzatziki is awesome for dipping, and you can even use it as the base for pick-a-nickin’ salads – potato and the like.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">2 cups thick yogurt<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1 long English cucumber, seeded and diced – seeding an English cucmber is easy as piss. Just take a small spoon and scrape a channel down the middle of the halved cuke. The seeds are fine to eat – hell, they’re barely noticeable they’re so soft – but they are watery, and any extra water will thin out your tzatziki, and this tzatziki is a beefy one.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">4 cloves garlic, pasted – To do this, mince your garlic and then, adding about ½ tbsp coarse sea salt, take the flat side of your knife and smoosh it on your cutting board until you have a nice paste.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1 lemon – get organic as you’ll need the zest as well as the juice – I assume you don’t want to add pesticide to your tzatziki.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">½ medium red onion, diced – you can use whichever type of onion you prefer. I almost exclusively buy red onions; the lone exception being when the Walla Walla sweets are in season. I can eat those fuckers like apples; they’re amazing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">¼ cup dill, chopped<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1 tbsp olive oil <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Salt and pepper to taste – I’m a big fan of pepper, so I use about a tablespoon; you may want to use a bit less.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Take your cucumber and onion, toss them in about ½ teaspoon of salt and set them in a sieve over a bowl. This will pull out any excess moisture that we don’t want thinning the tzatziki. Leave them for about an hour at room temperature and then pat them dry. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Put all of the ingredients in a bowl and mix ‘em up. With the lemon, you’ll wanna zest it prior to halving it for the juice. Also, roll the lemon under your palm with decent pressure to aid in the juice extraction.<br />
Taste it.</div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaieBW02G6asPh82AzBNa-EJ_cJegKLZY1AYG28fokcfWok5Gbbkw81ydimzWvKvqdk_6UTA0GoAYj-2l4VZ2bYAeF8wEZzu7I125rDIxQ6How1KFVaBQlBhRKyfFgxOxcx_TnAYoRClJZ/s1600/IMG_5922.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaieBW02G6asPh82AzBNa-EJ_cJegKLZY1AYG28fokcfWok5Gbbkw81ydimzWvKvqdk_6UTA0GoAYj-2l4VZ2bYAeF8wEZzu7I125rDIxQ6How1KFVaBQlBhRKyfFgxOxcx_TnAYoRClJZ/s200/IMG_5922.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mmmm, that shit is CHUNKY!<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Add salt if it needs it.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Put that shit in your falafel wrap.<o:p></o:p></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8NIooTFvqTfDyjtREY6tByotm4bFnoyIub0GVi1nPU5WfGSseejw_76osNfz54-1cZu-DZsZmRd74bfZ-YdlJ1fxrAyFzUEy6BS9IVGI1O59SJc5sJM-TJsxM2MMD2NT5FYLFqKhvQReJ/s1600/FalafelWrap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8NIooTFvqTfDyjtREY6tByotm4bFnoyIub0GVi1nPU5WfGSseejw_76osNfz54-1cZu-DZsZmRd74bfZ-YdlJ1fxrAyFzUEy6BS9IVGI1O59SJc5sJM-TJsxM2MMD2NT5FYLFqKhvQReJ/s200/FalafelWrap.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This particular wrap could use some greenery - spinach perhaps</td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Eat it.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>The Culinary Curmudgeonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278944538138702109noreply@blogger.com1